WHY PEOPLE RATHER KEEP QUIET.
- There is a saying that states that, a problem shared is a problem half solved, and quite recently, it’s beginning to seem like this isn’t true. I’ve read write-ups that disputed this, that a problem shared is still a whole problem. And as a Nigerian, I can understand the perspective with which this is said.
Mindset is everything when it comes to the condition called problem. If you feel the same after opening up a part of your life that is decaying, then it’s a fault from your end.
Now, the reason one would believe that the phrase “problem shared is a problem half solved” is not entirely right is because you take it a bit too literal that you expect that when you open up and the other person do not stretch a monetary helping hand or any other physical help, the phrase becomes ineffective.
And for this reason, it is pointless opening up to another person about personal problems.
But this is not so.
- I’d love to draw your attention to another reason one would think it is pointless sharing personal problems.
“What would they think of me?” This question is better replaced with “what better thing do I want for myself?”
First of all, I want you to know that people have their problems, hurdles and hassles, and more than half of the time, you don’t come to their mind.
This question is generated, most times, by our ego: reputation, standard, power, respect, and we seem not to be able to climb these flights of stairs down because of the height from which we see the people who might be good listening ears and delighting lips.
- In a topic of opening up, distrust is one factor that seel one’s lips.
I totally understand this part of the story, who we confined in might be someone who dines with the devil but don’t appear like that, it might be someone who is known to be trustworthy, but one way or the other, a problem shared with one person becomes a headline on TV.
One would be reclusively withdrawn to his shell if had had experience of distrust before.
But would you rather keep yourself from enjoying the freedom in opening up because of the above reasons?
I don’t agree. That is why I have come to show you the brighter side of things.
WHAT TO DO RATHER THAN KEEP QUIET.
- UNDERSTAND that each person you see, an adult or a child , has a problem that they which isn’t bothering them. The one you see hurrying to the bus stop, the hawker at the roadside, the handsome Prince in the car that passed, the beautiful girl that just coquettishly scurried off in the distance, the little boy holding his bag to school, the mother carrying a child on her back… There is always the bother factor.
Again, do not assume you have the most chest thumping problem. Your problem is not the biggest.
For these reasons, one must learn to cherish a listening ear. At the time you started saying your problems out to someone, there is a percentage of relief that drops in your heart. When you share a problem, whether it happens consciously or subconsciously, you feel way lighter than when it hadn’t left your heart.
The better part of it is, when there’s relief from worry, you stop thinking about the problem and start mentally sorting out ways to get it solved. Now trace this back, it was because you shared the problem; this is the original reason why a problem shared is half solved.
- Humility is one thing one’s mind must adopt when dealing with people. Sharing a problem is more or less asking for help – requesting for a listening ear – there are a lot of us who find asking help diminishing – but it is not. No man is an island. What you may only need is a delightful heart, a listening ear and a blessed lips, these can’t be bought.
Let go of your ego and open up to someone, every other thing is secondary.
- Opening up do not guarantee talking to just anyone about our personal problems. Know who you open up to. It is a mistake of opening up to the wrong person that keeps us in our shell, if you opened up before and it seemed like you shouldn’t have done it, it shouldn’t lock you up in your shell, rather, know the trustworthiness of those you are opening up to.
You are eager to speak to someone? Don’t be in a rush, find the relationship between you two.
Did you enjoy the read? Leave a comment in regards to what you have to share.