Dear readers, have you ever felt that people should not be unnecessarily extolled or appreciated beyond just saying thank you or something like that? Not just that, have you ever thought that it is best not to appreciate a woman more than necessary so as not to send the wrong signal?
People say it is pride, but I think it has to do with my upbringing. I just can’t seem to come to terms with extolling one’s virtue every time I come in contact with him. Now the problem is that my fiancé, the lady I want to get married to is the type that easily gets angry or irritated when you fail to appreciate her new dress or perfume or shoes or anything. Chioma is quite angelic in nature, and is without a doubt, one of the most beautiful women I have ever met in my life; at least I do acknowledge that.
She is indeed a paragon of beauty, and may be that is why she wants me to appreciate her every time we are together. I never feel threatened or insecure any time she reminds me that she is the type any man would want to take home to mama. Emi no o baje rara (me self I no bad at all); I am also the type of guy any girl will love to be with always.
My dad was an ambassador for many years before he retired not quite long ago. By virtue of his position in the society and country, we hardly lacked anything. We went to the best schools, lived in the best environments, and mixed up with a lot of influential people in the society as we grew up. My younger ones and I were kind of given birth to with silver spoon. This might sound strange, but the truth is that I never wooed a girl or woman since I became matured to know what having a girlfriend is; but I have dated lots of them in my 28 years of existence.
I never thought Chioma and I could ever get along because she was a little bit arrogant; so I thought. She was dating someone from her tribe before we started dating, and according to what she told me, they were about making plans to formalise their relationship. She liked me from the first minute she set her eyes on me at my younger brother’s 21st birthday party. We became good friends, and later became lovers.
It wasn’t easy at first because Chioma’s mother didn’t want her daughter to date a Yoruba man let alone marrying one. Chioma even told me the mother and her elder brother were not comfortable with me because according to her; “I looked like a Casanova.” This didn’t bother me because “I no send any woman.” She did all the fighting, and all the convincing; I didn’t raise a single finger to fight to win her parents’ consent.
We are close now, and come January, we will both settle down as husband and wife. Now the problem with me is that even though I don’t cheat on her; I never get jealous or feel threatened even when a man makes passes at her. I never commend her, I never acknowledge her beauty, and it grieves her all the time.
She knows my favourite perfume and clothes, and whenever she buys them; I just say thanks and nothing more. The truth like I said earlier is that I never lacked anything while growing up as a child; so nothing impresses me.
Ironically, my sister and brothers don’t act the same way; and that is why I am a bit bothered. My parents have tried to talk me into showing some more love and appreciation towards my wife to be as well as other people I come across with in life; but I just can’t seem to understand why I need to do this.
Someone once jokingly said “Adetokunbo, if I didn’t grow up in the same environment as you, I would have mistaken you for an aristocrat.” I am not an aristocrat no matter what anyone thinks, it’s just that I can’t bring myself to extolling the virtue of my woman. She is beautiful no doubt, but I can’t turn that into a song I needed to sing everyday.
Maybe the reason she still wants to settle down with me is because she loves me or she has come to accept my kind of person. If that be the case, why does she cry or nag over it every now and then?
I don’t feel sick, but I need someone to tell me what to do to express my love the way normal people do.
