I wished I wasn’t born and raised in Africa because it is like living in hell when you are married to a core Nigerian man. Nigerian men are rude and love to be in charge. They love to say it loud to the hearing of everyone around that they are the ones in charge at home. It is true that a tiger does not go about telling everyone it is a tiger; but not when it is your typical Nigerian husband.
I am a nurse by profession. I have been a nurse before Eddy met and married me. In fact we met in one of those nights after close of work. He had stalked me for weeks and sent different emissaries to me before I finally gave him my consent. I didn’t like him at first because I never dreamt of marrying a man that is not as educated as I am. My parents knew this and stopped at nothing to discourage me from marrying Eddy because he dropped out of secondary school. Someway or somehow Eddy managed to convince me by spoiling me with gifts (ladies beware when he starts buying and spoiling you with gifts). We got married eight months after courtship and our wedding was an elaborate one.
Four years after getting married, Eddy and I are still looking for our first issue. Maybe I should say I am the only one trusting God to give me a son because my husband has stopped making love to me and now runs after other women; in fact he now brings them home occasionally. He will never stop drumming it into my ears that as an African he reserves the right to marry as many women as he likes.
He feels intimidated by the fact that I am more educated than he is. We have been having issues about my profession because he wants me to quit working as a nurse and become a full time housewife. Dear readers how can this be? A man who met me as a nurse and even promised my parents that he won’t force me to leave my profession has now made me his number one enemy because I won’t quit my job. Eddy’s reason is funny—he feels all nurses are promiscuous and are unfaithful to their spouses. He doesn’t trust me and feels our marriage is heading for the rocks because I can or have been cheating on him.
What should I do? Should I quit my job as a nurse because my husband doesn’t trust me? Is quitting my job just to please him a true sign of submissiveness because that is the way he defines it?