My Husband Doesn’t Even Know Junior Is Not His Biological Child
Maybe I should have listened to my heart and not to my friend because I now find myself in a terrible situation where I have to find a way to confess my shameful act to my husband. It is either I open up and own up to my deeds and fight to earn his trust once again or he finds out one of these days.
For most girls, the NYSC presents an opportunity to enjoy life to the last and that was what I thought I did when I was posted to Enugu in 2006. Although I didn’t sleep with every guy I came across during my service year, I at least opened up my legs for a few guys including the one that got me pregnant. Actually I didn’t know I was already pregnant when I was passing out that year, and I think my problem started from there.
It was meant to be a night of fun and reunion when my fiancé came to pick me up at the park. We went straight to his house, and in the heat of the moment, we made love. Femi and I made love just about eight days or thereabout after I foolishly allowed a Youth Corper take me in his arms. The Corper friend of mine actually used a condom on me, but I guess it is never a guarantee that something terrible was not going to happen; and it did happen because I missed my period that month.
A test confirmed I was a few weeks pregnant, and from my calculation Femi could not have been the father. I also went for another test just to confirm how old the pregnancy was, and also got the same result. What made things very easy for me was that Femi didn’t use a condom, and that made Shade (my friend) and I come up with a plan. He didn’t even argue with me when I told him I was pregnant for him, and that was how we made plans for our wedding, and eventually got married.
It’s been eight years since we got married, and each of those years have been traumatic for me because Junior is not his. I made some personal enquiries on my own, and was told in a few places that pregnancy is possible even with the use of a condom; though the chances are very slim. Some doctors say a condom is only about 98% safe, while some say it is 97%, but I never came across anyone that says it is 100% safe. I suppose mine is one of those rare cases, and that is why it hurts me, and I deeply regret my action.
I am thinking of walking up to my pastor for counselling as guilt continues to eat deep into me. I have asked God for forgiveness on countless occasions, and I know he has forgiven me, but I need to restitute my way.
The irony of it all is that I didn’t even tell the man that got me pregnant that he has son. I have got myself entangled in a terrible situation, and that is why I need help.
Please help because the burden gets heavier as Junior grows older by the day.
