She Is Threatening Me With Breakup because of My No Sex Stance


She Is Threatening Me With Breakup because of My No Sex Stance

Dear iyandasdiary, how do I make Folake understand that as a Christian there is no way I am going to be involved in pre-marital sex with her or any woman? I simply won’t do it, though she is threatening to pack things up and move ahead with her life; calling me an impotent man in the process.

People think it is only ladies that are faced with this kind of problem, but that is not the truth. At least I know this is not true because of what I am now facing in my three years relationship.

Folake and I started dating while we were in the same neighbourhood. She used to invite me to her church then, and was always on my neck each time it was getting close to evening or normal Sunday service. She encouraged my growth in Christ, and was a positive influence on my Christian life. It is rather unfortunate that as I was getting stronger in faith, she was getting weaker.

About a year after we started our relationship, Folake and her parents relocated from our neighborhood. This meant she had to change church, and probably had to start looking for new friends as well. Nonetheless, her change of location didn’t affect our relationship, but it did reduce the number of times we visited each other. Since we didn’t get to see each other regularly, I had no chance of helping her get back to her usual Christian life. Things took a downward turn so fast that Folake started asking me for sex.

Pre-marital sex is one topic I always preach against as a Sunday school teacher, and there is no way I am going to act contrary to what I teach. I must admit that it has not been easy because the temptation gets stronger every day. Sometimes I try to avoid a situation where both of us will be all alone in the room, but it always ends in argument because she accuses me of not showing enough affection.

It’s been three years since we started dating, and it is not my fault that we are not married yet. Marriage would have been the ideal way to get out of this mess, but Folake is still in the university and her parents won’t have any of that until she is through. I am not sure how long she can hold on, but her pressure is overwhelming me, and I am not sure what is going to happen.

Her new song these days is ‘sex or breakup,’ and she is bent on making her threat come true. I have a feeling that what I don’t give her, someone else would; but that will hurt me a lot because she is the one I want to get married to.

This attitude of hers is depressing to say the least, and I can’t really underestimate her. The thought of getting pregnant doesn’t seem to bother her because he suggested we use a condom. I am worried because she told me the last time I came to see her off to the park on her way to school that someone else would give to her what I fail to give.




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