Dear readers, how does one deal with a situation where a man always threatens his wife with divorce anytime there is a disagreement? Can’t couples have disagreement without the other being threatened with divorce?
That opening paragraph summarises what I have been facing in my marriage. Derrick thinks the only way to control me is to constantly threaten the existence of our relationship. The last time we had a terrible argument, he packed my things into his car and asked me to get set to go back to the village since “two masters can’t be in a ship.” What sort of man would want his wife to say yes to everything he says? Derrick wants me to concur to every of his suggestions, and not to doubt him.
In truth, we argue a lot, and I can’t deny the fact that I want him to convince me on certain steps or decisions that have to do with our future or that of our kids. I don’t think a woman who wants the best for her children in terms of education is stepping out of her bound by requesting for details of her husband’s plans—Derrick doesn’t like it when I chip in suggestions about the quality of schools our kids should be enrolled in.
He seems to have had enough, according to him; and now thinks my cup is getting filled to the brim. At first I thought he was only threatening me with divorce because he wanted to drive fear into me; but he has now informed my parents that my days in his house are numbered.
I am writing this because I have completely lost self-confidence, and no longer feel the need to chip in suggestions when we are having a chat. He makes me feel like I have no say, and marriage is like slavery. My parents too haven’t really helped much because they keep telling me to bear whatever he throws at me just to keep my marriage. Derrick seems to have boxed them into a corner because he virtually controls my parents by the fact that he sends them money for upkeep ever month.
I am losing it because my first daughter once asked me why her dad and I always have issues. My little girl is just eight years old, and she already knows what divorce means because that’s her father’s favourite line.
How do I make Derrick stop threatening me with divorce? I need your advice as soon as possible.