When we created this blog for women and men to share their pains and agonies; little did we know that things as terrible as what we have been reading in the last couple of years were indeed happening. Life is such a game that is too difficult to understand. No matter how skillful you think you are, there is someone out there waiting to outsmart you. As a matter of fact, life itself is a mystery waiting to be unveiled later in life. This woman’s story is bound to shock you—it just goes to show what some of our women go through in their marriage…
Being married is the dream of the average African woman. When I say African woman, I am talking about a woman that was raised in the true and proper way—a woman raised to do everything to make her husband and family happy.
So you can imagine the joy I felt in my heart when my husband and his people came to ask for my hand in marriage some years ago. It was a day where my parents stood tall in the society. They were not only happy because they were giving me out in marriage; they were also happy and proud of the fact that my husband was marrying me as a virgin. I was the cynosure of all eyes as well as the envy of all ladies in my society at the time. However, that day marked a journey into slavery…
My husband was already very rich when he married me; but his wealth was a child’s play compared to how things blossomed for him few years after we got married. His businesses flourished, and he added more houses and cars to his riches. Sadly, his riches got into his head and he decided to marry another wife. We fought over this, but it was too late as the other woman was already pregnant for him.
My biggest mistake was not insisting that we went to the marriage registry to consummate our marriage. The other woman was not foolish as she was able to convince Gbenga to legalize their union. This made her the legal wife; but my naivety got the better of me as I was fighting the woman instead of using wisdom to do the right thing so that my husband would take care of my kids.
I was listening to some wrong advices from friends and family. I went to different churches and even followed some friends to herbalists to find a way to chase the other woman away. I became so fetish that one of my daughters lost her life in the tooth for a tooth battle that ensued between the other woman and I. The battle was so fierce that my husband and the woman packed out of the house and left my children and I alone.
That was how the second part of my wahala (trouble) started. Ever since then I have been living all alone with my children as my husband stopped helping us and only sends us money once in a while.
It has been twelve years since Gbenga and his new wife moved out of the house, and life has not been very easy for me and the kids. The kids are grown up now and only visit their father once in a while; but the life I live is not different from that of a widow.
At 48, I feel I have wasted the better part of my life fighting over a useless man.
My advice to all unmarried ladies out there is; never settle down for traditional marriage alone. You must insist that your man take you to the registry to consummate your union.