Dear readers of Iyandasdiary, is it every time one gets to meet a woman who would stand by her man even when he has nothing? Toyin stood by me and was there all through my dark moments when no one else was available to help me.
In Africa, the woman is always at fault when it comes to delay in having a child. The family of the husband always blame it on the woman, and call her all kinds of names just because the woman could not give birth to a child.
My name is Segun, and I have been married for some years now without a child to call mine. Toyin and I have done a lot of things just to have a child to call our own; and our story is yet to change. We have resolved to continue to trust in the Lord and wait until His appointed time; and hopefully it won’t be long before our prayers are answered. While we continue to wait for His favour and blessing, I also wish to ask that He provides my wife and I the grace to endure this difficult period when members of my family have been on my neck.
My family wants me to take a second wife or try my luck with another woman out there just to prove that it is not my fault that we are yet to have a child of our own. We have been on this subject for the past 5 years, and my view on it has not changed, and will never change. I am not saying this because Toyin was there when I had nothing to eat, and no clothes to wear. I am saying this because she is the most reliable woman I ever met in my life. Besides, I am also saying this because of the marital vow between us.
As a Muslim, I know I am qualified to have a second wife, but the truth of the matter is that I will never do that. I have not committed any sin by not taking a second wife, and since that is the case, it is important that I be allowed to live my life the way I want to. Well, dad seems to think otherwise, and will not hesitate to use any opportunity he has to drum it into my ears the importance of having a child.
My dad would not be bothered if I didn’t take a second wife as long as my wife is able to bear a child; but since that is not the case, he would do all within his power to ensure that I listened to him.
Toyin and I have done a lot of tests, and the doctors seem to think both of us have a very high possibility of having babies. All tests conducted thus far prove that we are both okay. We have and are still undergoing a lot of tests and treatments; and there is no doubt that things will work out soon.
Sadly, the thing or shall I say the pressure especially from my family members is beginning to get to my wife. She seems to have joined the ‘second wife’ bandwagon, and this is also killing me. I know I love her so much, but this request of hers is not realistic because I don’t want to loose the peace I am enjoying in my home because of a second wife. Besides, I also fear that I may end up showing more love and attention to a second wife, and this alone scares me because Toyin has been a wonderful woman.
Now that everyone including my wife seems to be pressuring me to take a second wife, what should I do?
