Most marriages today crash because there is no synergy or understanding between couples; and this can be blamed on a number of reasons. Most times we feel like we understand each other better during courtship only to discover that our partners are not what we thought they were. So can you imagine spending two years of your life dating and courting someone only to discover he or she is not actually what you think he or she was? That is a peep into what I am about to tell you; it is the story of my 3 months marriage.
I thought there was nothing more to discover about Daniel having dated him for 2 years until a few days into our marriage. I didn’t just discover that my husband is not a genuine Christian, but an incurable womaniser who patronises brothels and nightclubs.
Daniel and I met in the church some times ago in Lafia, Nasarawa State. I was assigned or instructed to counsel him being a fist timer in my church. I was already a worker in the church, and one of my responsibilities is to ensure first timers are properly welcomed to the church. From the information he provided in the form we gave him, I discovered that he was already a born again Christian, which brought smiles to my face. Though, I didn’t have anything in mind at first, we later became very close as I was sometimes assigned to call and do follow-up on him once in a while. As time went bye, Daniel became a part of the church workforce. He became so active that it didn’t take long for the church to assign him a key position in the church.
We also became very great friends, and later became even stronger. Things developed so fast, that Daniel and I made our desires toward each other known to the church authorities. The church formally notified every one of our intentions, and not quite long we picked a date to finally settle down. Our marriage was not an elaborate one since that was what both of us actually wanted; but it was indeed an occasion to remember.
Not quite long after we settled down, I started noticing certain changes in my husband. He stopped praying like we used to do before marriage, and I started seeing and noticing things contrary to what he told me before marriage. Any time I search through his pockets before giving his clothes to the drycleaner, I would discover packs of condoms and some pills made for boosting male sexual desires. I confronted him the first time, and he didn’t even mutter a single word. When I insisted that he provided an explanation, he would accuse me of nagging.
Things have not got any better, and have actually gone from bad to worse because I have since discovered that he patronises night clubs and brothels to sleep with different ladies. I really don’t know where things have gone wrong; but the truth is that we have stopped having sex due to reasons I can’t even explain.
My pastor keeps asking me to continue in prayer that God will change him since divorce it out of it.
Could it be that he doesn’t find me good enough in bed? I have no regret not getting myself involved in pre-marital sex with him; but could be that I am not what he thought I was? I was not a virgin at the time we got married, but I must admit that I was inexperienced in matters that have to do with using different sex styles to please my man; but even then Daniel has never complained about that to me.
What could be the matter?
