Our society is one that takes pride in doing things differently from the way other people do them. Ours is a society where the poverty level is high; it is no secret that most families are struggling to make ends meet. Yet we like punching above our weights, and getting ourselves into positions that have the ability to destroy the very foundation we hope to build. There is nothing wrong in choosing only traditional or court or church wedding to tie the knot, where we do have a problem is how the society views these things.
Our society places priorities on frivolities; yes you read that right… We embark on spending spree whenever the wedding bell starts ringing. We cling on to certain anomalies… We try to show the whole world what we are capable of; yet taking our eyes off the uncertainties of the future.
Even the church has nothing against being joined together in the traditional ways. The courts too are not that stringent; just that they encourage couples to legalize their marriages for sake of posterity.
In the western and eastern parts of Nigeria, couples start the ‘rituals’ of tying the knots in the following ways:
The Introduction:
The groom to be comes along with members of his family and friends to the home of the bride to be where a formal introduction is made. This usually takes the form of a mini jamboree where both families wine and dine and make merry. This is not the event proper; it is just a tip of the iceberg. Both families agree on a date for the engagement, also known as the traditional wedding. This could either be in the village of the bride to be or in the state where the bride’s parents live.
The Traditional:
Then comes the big one; the traditional occasion where the couples spend hundreds of thousands of Naira to fete their guests and family members. The groom is expected to come with a very long list of items and money as bride price for the bride to be. This is the first ‘joining together’ of the couple by both families. Prayers are made amidst singing and dancing.
The Marriage Registry:
As if to tell the entire world that they have money to spend, the couple proceed to the Marriage Registry to legalise their marriage. This takes a form of a short ceremony, and is not usually elaborate. Nonetheless, money is spent to entertain a few guests and photographs.
The Church Wedding:
Finally the man and the woman are joined in holy matrimony. Everyone is then hosted to an elaborate and lavish reception, with music to go with the occasion.
By the time the reception is over, the couple would have spent hundreds of thousands or even more. Do we really need a three-in-one event just to be joined with the one we love?
The economy is not getting any better, and millions of people are finding it increasingly hard to eat three times daily; perhaps, we need to change our orientation.
