I am writing this as a comprehensive reply to one of your articles filed under the “unanswered question’ category, which was posted yesterday.
The problem with most African men is that they seem to think that marriage constitutes upon them the right to turn a woman into a robot. While I appreciate the fact that couple in marriage should be open to each other, I am never of the view that a woman no longer has rights to how she handles and cares for her body. A few reminders would help drive home my points as it seems most of us have lost touch with certain realities about life.
During pregnancy, I am the one who suffers certain hormonal changes—not the man! I spit wherever I go, and get shouted at for acting ‘strange.’ I am the one who carries the baby in the womb for nine months—not the man! I am the one whose daily lifestyle is badly affected, and who no longer has the opportunity to dress and go to places I feel like—not the man! What does my man do? He comes home late from work, eats, snores, wakes up the next day, eats, goes to work, and continues uninterrupted with his social life with friends and colleagues.
Men think women are ‘baby factories;’ and so the only thing they are good at is making babies. We have three kids already, but he wants more—regardless of whether I have the strength to go on or not. He wants more, and that’s final! He won’t let us have a prolonged brake for a while. Kudos to the chemist or the pharmacists who have come up with good birth control pills; I let him have his way, while I continue to have mine.
No more arguing with my man about having more babies because nothing good is ever going to come out of it. All I need to do is play safe, and be smart about.
My decision to take pills without telling him is as bad as his decision not to listen to me about having a break from childbearing for a while.
Of course, he is getting worried, and keeps asking those funny questions men usually ask when they are expecting a baby. He wonders why I haven’t started spitting all over the place… My period comes at the right time, and he is confused…. I am only waiting for him to ask me to go to the doctor for a PT.
Hopefully the bubble won’t burst anytime from now…
