Time Is Running Out For Me, But My Dad Doesn’t Care
I feel miserable right now because I am the child of a father who believes I shouldn’t marry from any other tribe. Dad doesn’t care how long it takes for the ‘right man’ to approach me as long as he is not a Yoruba or any other tribe.
Please read my story below: I have not known how to love someone else other Deji, and it feels strange to me each time I remember how my dad had called me into his room one evening to inform me that I can’t marry from the south west or anywhere outside the east. It was shocking to say the least because my dad is not only an educated man, he also holds a title in the church.
What makes it more shocking is the fact that most of my dad’s friends and associates are Yorubas. How can someone who has benefited from the hospitality of the south west people suddenly forbid me from marrying someone from the same place? He has expressly forbid me from doing that, and my dad’s words are like fire when he is angry. I could see it in his eyes that he wasn’t joking.
Initially he tried to make me see reason not to marry Deji. He started by telling me the guy doesn’t have enough money to take care of me, and when that didn’t work, he started playing the ethnic card. Daddy always said it is better to marry someone from your tribe, but I never thought he was going to enforce it someday. My dad is the type you never argue with, no matter how bold you think you are. Like I said earlier, I don’t see myself marrying someone else but Deji, and my dad doesn’t want to understand.
Deji understands my situation, but it’s been two years since dad gave me a resounding ‘no’ as regards who to marry and I am not sure how long the young man can continue to wait. It is so annoying and strange because his family have been quite understanding while my own family have been kind of hostile towards him.
One of my dad’s friends tried talking him into giving Deji and I his blessing, but I was shocked when he told him that it is only going to happen over his dead body. His mind is made up, but mine too is made up; it is either he allows me to marry the man I love or I won’t come home with another.
At 29, it is obvious that I am not getting any younger, and that is why I am filled with so much pain in my heart. I don’t believe in tribalism as it is not only a sin to discriminate against your fellow man, it is also a barbaric act. I have cousins and uncles who got married to people of the same tribe but do not have peaceful homes. Marriage in my opinion is about love and not about race or tribe.
Can someone please tell me what to do before I lose my sanity?
