I was genuine shedding tears as I relayed my shameful experience to him. I apologized and begged for him to forgive me and I promised to never repeat such again. I thought he’d understand and forgive me. But I was wrong. My husband now wants a divorce. Actually, he has sent me and the kids out of his house. I have a daughter who is 4 and a son who is 2. My husband said he doesn’t think he is the father. I assured him that he is and that he should get a DNA test to confirm. But he refused.
I rented a 2 bedroom flat somewhere close to my office. This is where I currently stay. Since leaving my husband’s house I have only received a phone call from him where he stated the date that he and I were going to visit my parents who are currently in my village. He told me that if I wasn’t going to come, he’d go alone and tell them what happened and why he decided to divorce me.
I feel like my life is over. I can’t face my parents and tell them what I’ve done. It’s very shameful. I can’t even face my friends and relations. I feel like I’m drowning a pool of shame and despair. I can’t imagine being a single mother at this age. I love my husband and I enjoyed our marriage. I can’t imagine it all being over.
I called my colleague and told him everything. He said that I shouldn’t hold him responsible for anything since our rendezvous was based on mutual consent. He said he doesn’t want to have anything to with me and we should keep our relationship at work very platonic so as not to raise eyebrows of those who might link him to what happened with me.
I’m utterly hopeless. I feel like taking my life. I almost took this action yesterday but I pitied my children. But with every passing day I feel like suicide is the only way to end my pain. I wish I had listened to those people who advised me to keep what I did a secret. I wanted to, but every time I was with my husband I felt I was constantly betraying him by hiding the truth from him. I just want to die. I can’t bare this pain anymore.