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For A Nigerian Kid

3 Mins read

I don’t know, most common things nowadays happen to be the answer to the question, “where did I go wrong?”

Like, this is quite insane; how could it be that things we expect to destroy lives in the worse or mild way possible do not really do the damage, it’s our every day routine attitude that does.

How we treat our children, husband, wife, neighbours, relatives, etc, have a lot to do with their reactions else where.

This is not about everyone, this is about the kids. There are a lot that isn’t right in our every day lives with them as parents, a lot we don’t take into caution, a lot we consider harmless norms, a lot that answer the question, “where did I go wrong?”

The kids go through a lot from parents and for, particularly, the Nigerian/African kid, the case is specially worse.

I want to talk about yelling at the kids, but of course, that can extend to several other stuff.

Yelling at your kid is detrimental — take it or leave it. This determine a lot in the life of your little boy/girl. This causes a lot of damage that you begin to wonder where the problem might be coming from.

Yelling at them makes them aggressive. Just as you are, if a boss yells at you, you probably can’t yell back, but the brunt of your mood gets another person to pay for it one way or the other, aggressively or emotionally disturbing.

When you’re a parent who yells a lot, watch it, your kid also yells at his/her younger siblings when they do something offensive.

Yelling at them makes them lose self-confidence. Now, I read a post by John Obidi, he talked about a parent who yelled at her son in an airport for not being able to find his passport. John went on to tell us that obviously, the boy was embarrassed — being shouted at in the midst of such a dense number of people would be extremely embarrassing to anyone.

It extends to yelling at your kid in his school where his mates are, it might be for a short while, but he’ll have to face the shame of knowing that some of his school mates have such event recorded in their heads and might use it against him or joke about it. They lose self-confidence. Even when they’ve grown, they become accidental introverts — what they were never born with, and breaking free of this chain takes a lot of debunking for your child when he’s grown, even when you’re no longer there.

I hear there are some parents who have kids that duck and hide when they see them approaching from a distance; do you know such kids always hope in their heart to grow sooner and be able to leave on their own? Which is terribly bad for you as a parent? Your kid wishing to leave you is one of the worse things that can ever happen to you as a parent. You make life uncomfortable for your child and you’re at peace? It’s terrible.

Yelling at your kids makes them yell at your grand kids and so on. Unless the truth is shown to them just as you’re learning now, you’ll have people who have no confidence in themselves, who are accidental introverts, who are aggressive, etc.

Funnily enough, this yelling thing begins mildly. Now let me draw your attention to something: having to scream from the sitting room to your kid in the kitchen to help you with a utensil is bad, he/she yells back, “I’m bringing it”; as unimportant as this may seem to you, it enhance other sort of loud yelling.

Rather than hitting and calling his/her name to wake up, it is preferably good that you tap them gently or open the cotton to let the ray of light do the waking, or rather shake them at the shoulder or am to wake them up, they’re not dead.

Even if you’re not yelling, talking to your child with too much force in your jaw tells them that the best way to ask one to do something is when you’re a little hard, but no.

These things are hard to practice. Why? Because there’s a lot you might be going through as a result of the circumstances life throws at you.

For example, your boss at the office, or a customer might he an ass that day, you return home and you need someone to vest the brunt on, don’t do it. It is hard, but once you tell yourself that you are upset, and you are likely to vest it on an innocent person, saying it out loud to yourself, there are more chances you’ll take caution.

Always tell yourself, “I’m angry” when you’re actually angry, this will help you to know that wanting to yell is not as a result of what Michael, your second son, did, but because prior to his clumsiness, you were burning inside.

To make this effective, most times, take a break, relax and tell yourself stuff that happened, be silent, absorb peace inside, tell yourself how much you love that kid and how much you don’t want your yelling to handicap his/her future.

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