I don’t want to create a controversy out of this, and I’ll do my best not to. This has been an issue for a very long time now. In some parts of the world, it’s a settled dispute, in some other parts, it’s forever going to remain an argument.
In the parts where it is settled, it is in two ways: everyone is either equal, or there are subordinate beings and there are authorities or we might as well say superior beings.
I’m not going to stretch too far, I’ll be roaming about the coffins of marriage, at least, among others, the act of superiority is clearly played out everyday in marriages.
One is always higher than the other, and in a situation where one is the supposed “superior being” or the “authority” it is, more often than not, the man, and we all know that the fight for equality is not fought by subordinate men, but subordinate women. It is very common to find a marriage where the man is superior.
Even the marriages that claim equality still play out little resemblance of inequality; and because this inequality practice has long been grounded, one may not be able to realise how it is often played out daily.
I have once witness a true love story where inequality still stands. The problem of men feeling on top of the world is not a problem that can be easily eradicated.
Even a woman feels it is her duty to inconvenience herself in other to please her man. A woman’s name has been tagged to kitchen, taking care of babies and the likes. I recently read a news where the man took up his wife’s surname after the marriage rights had been settled, and it was an alarm everywhere, you know why? Because that part of MAN’S SUPERIORITY hasn’t been tampered with before, no one looks to that angle, no one remembers it’s another display of inequality, the marriages which claim equality don’t see any big deal in this, because it has long been a practice. And yes there are marriages I’ve seen where women keep their surname, but those are usually bold steps according the norm, as a matter of fact, some women are excited to be called Mrs X (x being the man’s surname).
Again, this practice has made fathers regard the girl child unimportant. Where I come from, the father believes his name would die with him if he’s unable to produce a male child. That is why there are situations where the woman continues to give birth, just so peradventure she could get a son.
If you preach anything otherwise to majority of women, they’ll even protest against it. Why? It is a grounded belief they’ve always lived with. Just as brainwashed followers would defend a fake leader.
In marriage, it is better to see your wife as a roommate than the “spouse” of today.
As a roommate, we respect each other and make sure things are done equally. As roommates, one is not expected to sleep on his back and ask the other “is my food ready?” (I saw a movie where the husband used the phrase, “for crying out loud, I am your husband, not a roommate”. He needed spacial treatment, if you know what I mean)
Now let me debunk a belief for you: did you know there are some things you are ought to do for yourself and not bother the next person with? We feel saying “Please help me iron my cloths” makes it polite. Sometimes, it is a cunning way of displaying our superiority over a person who cannot say NO to us.
You know they have something to do, it is not as if you’re bedridden; but with the loads of work they have, you still heap it up with some other works: wives are victims to their husbands in this case.
There are a lot, I repeat, a lot of things the husband feels is the “duty” of the wife — like a slave serving a master. And funnily, the wife might not be completely satisfied if she don’t have this “duties” up her sleeve: as a matter of fact, marriages have broken because the woman failed to prepare her husbands food, and if you dig deep, she was probably preoccupied with other works for the home, and a lot of people will still put the blame on her. (This is how badly a norm can affect people. And like scientists discovering a solution, if those who deepen their research tell you otherwise, you’ll argue and not want to free yourself from the bondage, because you’ve found solace in it and you’d rather defend your suffering than relocate to the new life presented to you)
I have seen a marriage where domestic works were divided equality between the husband and wife, and quite accurately correct, the husband did more; although There are still some works she most do naturally and you as a man can’t do. You can’t home the baby for nine months, you can’t breast feed the baby as well.
Inequality plays itself out every single day in the lives of couples. And thankfully enough, when it does, you who read this will be able to point it out from now on if you’ve not known all of these before now. Don’t only point out, if you can, do something about it.