#Kate
We never really hear of younger husband stories that often, and when we do, we tend to have questions and opinions pop up our mind; how old is he? The woman must love him very well to have agreed to be wedded to a baby, he must be cute, he just wants her money (if she’s rich) he needs a bin to dispose his failure in life, she’s afraid no one might marry her as she’s aging, the list of what pops up in our mind is endless.
But what if I told you, that I assumed my husband was older than I was, he’s hell intelligent, he talks like a mature fellow, he treats a Lady so maturely, he seldom does frivolous things, he learnt the lessons in the book, The Art Of Not Giving A Fuck, and started implementing them in his daily life long before the author even thought of writing the book. He got grey hair… and what would you have me think?
I never asked him his age, on the other hand, I’m quite petite, young looking, playful, romance reader, care too much about too many things, many times than not I get into frivolous things that cost me my time and, sometimes, money. I have quite a lot of younger friends, I like video games, then tell me, won’t he assume I was 25?
We assumed our age based on what we engage in and our sense of maturity, but I realised that sometimes, maturity doesn’t necessarily come with age, it could come with what you engage in, your circle, what you’ve grown to get obsessed with.
We got married, he was 27 and I was 32, that’s a whole lot of 5 years. Now most people were aware of the story, we didn’t know, we were never after any of the above mentioned reasons that pops up in people’s head when they hear of or see such couple.
But, of course, we can not control what people think, and we don’t care, as a matter of fact, we are certain people are thinking about us. All we know for sure is that, our union is blissful.
When I discovered I was five years older than the genius, there was this “big sister” feeling that began to suffuse every little thing I did with him.
I want to share with you the lessons I learnt dealing with a husband I am five years older than.
I want you to know he’s the husband every woman would love to spend their lives with. Well, not every woman, but a lot.
It is good to have a man who’s mature enough to be in the background, studying what happens, knowing what to respond to, knowing what doesn’t matter and what does. Knowing that the wife could really be a devil sometimes.
If he isn’t the kind of person who is mature, I might have lost him. Because I let that age thing take over me. Although he didn’t tell me, but he proved it rather that age is really just a number. He is the older one if we consider age not a factor…
…he is the older one in looks, in the way he speaks, in the things he does, in what he engages in, how he don’t mind things, ordinarily, one would mind and get himself unnecessary troubles. He sees my ego over knowing I am older than him, but let me have the time of my life.
One time, I was having a conversation with him over something he did wrong at the office where he work, and I used the phrase, “when I was your age”. Do you know how unfair that is? But I never knew.
There were some things he did, I’d give him that “silence is the best answer given to a fool”… Mehn, like, I know one could be mute towards one’s partner sometimes, but being mute over a partner you’re older than as a lady is different and insulting in some respects.
I had the attitude of “I know how to handle this better”… Seriously…? But how…? Because I was older? I didn’t know how unfair these things were. I made him feel I was older even when he appeared older, even when he’d even thought he was older.
I, unknowingly, wanted my opinion to be the order of the day. I wanted to lead the home, I didn’t know I was taking his role as a man. Even in front of friends and family, I didn’t relax into being a wife, there was simply no difference between my attitude and the one of an elder sister. I wasn’t playing wife.
But one day, he told me all of these, and how he missed his wife, how he missed his “baby” that inasmuch as he’d love me to play a mother to him, not this way.
He meticulously made me reminisce on what my behaviour had been towards every little thing, and because of how honest he said them, how mature he spoke the words so he didn’t get his older sister angry, I saw the truth in them.
I realised my age was just a number, I should play the wife, I should be a weaker vessel, he should be my “I got this, baby”.
When I started taking the wife’s position intentionally, I saw the beauty of our marriage once again, the bliss, the oneness. I didn’t feel heavy any more, I didn’t feel old, I didn’t feel like he was a younger husband.
For those who have younger husbands, learn to stay as a wife, not a big sister.
