Suffering For The Sake Of Love-Surely There Is A Limit To Submissiveness
Surely there is a limit to what the human mind and spirit can take. You don’t treat a woman the way you like just because the African tradition and the Holy Books preach submissiveness. African Women are taught from childhood to be submissive to their parents, and subsequently to their husbands when they eventually get married; but what exactly defines submissiveness in marriage?
My sister is suffering from ‘love’ or what I simply can’t describe. Moji was the most beautiful woman among her peers before she got married. Men were simply fighting and competing with one another to marry her, and it is ironical that the man she eventually got married to doesn’t deserve her one bit.
Now she is paying heavily for saying yes to Lawal who has practically turned her into a punching bag. She now looks ten years older than her real age, and funny enough she doesn’t want to walk out of the marriage because she claims to ‘love’ him and doesn’t consider divorce an option.
I don’t believe in divorce too, and neither do I believe in remaining in any marriage that threatens my existence. My solution, which I keep suggesting to my sister is that she packs her things and walk out while she still lives, but she won’t listen to me.
How can a graduate as well as a second degree holder in Economics and Business Administration be prohibited from working? Moji was already holding a top managerial position at a blue chip multilateral company before she got married. We thought it was madness that made her abandon her job to become a full time housewife of a man who earns not even half of what she was earning at that time. We all told her not to resign from her job, but she insisted that was what she wanted.
Please explain to me why a woman with almost six months pregnancy be allowed to be carrying buckets of water on her head almost every day while the husband just seats around not doing anything in the house to help her out? Moji even washes her husband’s clothes, scrubs the bathroom floor on weekends, and irons out all the clothes..
I need someone to explain what submissiveness is before I lose my mind because my sister doesn’t look like someone who could last another five years.
Now on top of all that she receives beatings whenever Lawal is in a bad mood or when she offends or crosses his path.
These issues have been brought up in our family meeting on so many occasions without anything positive outcome. My sister recently confessed to me that the doctor asked her to take it easy due to the fact that her blood pressure is running high and might end up losing the pregnancy because of the psychological pain and trauma at home.
Please help me as I don’t know what next to do. I don’t want to lose my sister because she feels the need to be submissive to a monster of a husband.
