Here is a response from one of our female visitors who feels strongly about Bolaji’s plight that she has decided to send this in. Perhaps, her words can best be described as being too strong, but at least she is making a lot of sense too…
Having read Bolaji’s story this past week, I have no choice to believe that we African ladies are responsible for our plight—we are so naïve that we fall for every trick in a man’s book.
The Bible’s definition in the book of Ephesians is being misinterpreted by our dear African sisters. Most of our dear African sisters bow and lick the feet of their husbands—this think and believe is the best interpretation of the scripture that says “wives submit to your husbands.”
Every woman is not only unique and special; but created with special ability to turn things around without forfeiting her dignity.
Love is first and foremost reciprocal; the African woman should as a matter of dignity stop assuming that it’s a man’s world. Keeping the home and family happy is a collaborative effort, and anything short of that is an invitation to anarchy and slavery.
What stops him from washing my panties if I stoop to wash his stockings? A woman once said this and it really got me irritated and disgusted: “one of my duties is to wash his clothes and get them ironed; my mum taught me that from childhood…” Fine if that’s one of the roles of a woman, but what stops the man from helping the woman to get such things done?
People mock me when I tell them my husband washes my panties and helps me in ironing the same way I do. They call my husband all sorts of name and feel like I have “used his head” (as in given him a love portion). I mean it is not a mistake that my husband and I have an understanding of how to support each other. When it comes to love, pride doesn’t walk out of the door; it flies out of the window! My husband and I have buried pride in our marriage; but it doesn’t stop me from giving him his due regard as the head of the family—but not being naïve.
Love your man, support him, and give him all the honour and respect he deserves; but not bow at his feet and lick them…
