We were brought up to believe that good and responsible girls should have love at the back of their minds when getting married. My parents in particular never failed to drum it into our ears the importance of marrying for love instead of for the money. So I thought I was doing the right thing when I said yes to Dayo—a man that was practically struggling to make ends meet. He only had a pair of shoes when we started dating, and nothing much improved after we got married; at least not in the first six years.
The first six years of my marriage to Dayo was like hell. I knew what I was going in to, but never knew it was going to be that difficult. We went through all sorts of emotional and physical pains. Life wasn’t what we hoped it would be—I mean things were tough. Imagine eating or taking cassava flakes (garri) as a nursing mother every morning.
I suppose the world is only interested in the glossy side of life, and that is why I would rather spare you the details of what Dayo and I went through for the first six years of our marriage before God changed our story for good. We are now among the most influential personalities of our generation—commanding millions in terms of daily and weekly income.
However, I regret to say that men have short memories or are ingrates. While the horrendous first six years of our marriage continue to flash through our minds once in a while; I find it appalling that Dayo thinks the best way to move ahead is to bring in another woman. The he goat is in ‘love’ and insists he has a right to take a second wife as an African. Dayo has not only taken a chieftaincy title, he now thinks he needs a concubine to spice things up—but that can only happen over my dead body.
I am a woman on a mission; and despite the fact that I need a piece of advice on the next line of action, my mind seems made up on how to deal with and arrest the situation before it gets out of hand.
I am simply not being jealous if that is what you think; but the truth is that if my husband feels he needs to blow our wealth on a woman, then not on a concubine. I mean there are loads of starving children on the streets looking for means of livelihood—we could start by taking them off the street at least.
If you were in my shoes as a woman what would you have done?