A society where the woman is easily the victim or object of blame when things go wrong is the kind we live in. We blame the woman when she is caught in adultery—leaving the man out of it. Why are we so one-sided in Africa? I am not building a foundation to support adultery or infidelity here; just trying to express things the way I feel so you can understand my true feelings—my pains and my deep emotions.
I feel so ashamed to say that my pet dog is more of a company than my husband. Dare is always out with the boys in the club. He is either dining away the evening with his colleagues after work or at some parties on the Island.
He doesn’t beat me, and I am not sure he is going to ever conceive that–maybe if he succeeds in pushing me into the arms of another guy because that is the only “crazy” idea running through my mind as I write this.
Our love life is dry and lacks the kind of fire you would expect from a young couple. We are both in our late twenties, but we barely make love more than twice in a month. When we do manage to make love, he barely satisfies me—yet I am not a sex freak. How can we even make love when your husband is not always in the mood to do that? I have asked myself if I am that boring in bed. At least he didn’t marry me as a virgin; I enjoyed my life to the least before Dare and I met and my guys always wanted more. He simply doesn’t enjoy sex or maybe he is even cheating on me—with men you never know.
I am sex-starved at the moment and I am being tempted to throw caution to the wind at least to kill this feeling of mine. I fantasize about every handsome and macho man I see around me or on the street every day—I know this is sin, but my human nature is beginning to cave in due to this hot desire to fill a gap.
I don’t like discussing this with my friends because they will all make fun of me. As a matter of fact, the only male friend that knows about it gave me a wrong advice and almost got me into trouble.
Is something troubling my husband that I don’t know about? It’s been two years of marriage and we don’t have a child yet. The truth is that as each day passes bye, the temptation to sort myself out with another man gets stronger. Apart from being a sin against God, Adultery from where I come from is a taboo; and that seems to be the only reason I am still being restrained. But how long can I continue to hold on. It’s even getting out of hand these days because Dare has not touched me for about a month now—not even during my ovulation period.
Please help me I am confused.
