I am married with three kids. I have a good and God fearing husband. In fact, you wouldn’t be more proud of a husband. He is just one of a kind and I wish we could last forever until recently that it dawned on me that my marriage is at stake.
My husband used to be the manager of a popular bank in Nigeria. During this period, I was still in my 100level in the university. He gave me a lot of support back then and because of him, I was able to live large among my friends.
Some of them often try so hard to get his attention but, he was so into me that he didn’t give in to any of them. He made me happy and I was so proud of him. Despite the storms and squalls that tripped in along the way, we were determined to be together so, we overcame it.
Time flew and I graduated with a second class upper. I felt so fulfilled that I swore not to start any work that offers me less than 150,000 naira for a start as a fresh graduate with a second class upper credit. I stood by my slogan and I was eventually employed with a monthly pay of 200,000 naira. I felt on top of the world and my husband was happy for me.
We felt that we were ripe for marriage and we settled for it. We had a son soon after our wedding and we all lived happily. Our son went to one of, if not the best school in the neighbourhood. Soon after, I got pregnant again. It was then that I experienced the first moment of sadness in our home.
My husband came back home on that fateful day and broke the news to me that he has been sacked from work. He further explained that there was a huge amount of money missing in the bank which he could not account for. According to him, the withdrawal of that cash was signed by him. but, he swore with God that he didn’t know anything about it. I believed him though but, nothing could have been done so we left everything to God.
Pending the time that my husband was jobless, I made sure the house was balanced. When I gave birth to our second daughter, it was I who took responsibility for the naming ceremony but, nobody knew about it. And whenever I received my salary, I share it into two and give him one part.
I helped a great deal in finding the new job he got shortly after the naming of our daughter. They were paying him 50,000 naira monthly. It was the highest offer so far so he had to take it anyway. And with that, I stopped sharing my own salary with him. After all, he had his own was what I thought. But, I didn’t stop all the support I render at home for any reason. I thought I was a good woman.
Recently, I started noticing my husband’s change in attitude. I tried to understand that he may be frustrated but, it wasn’t helping. He started missing some nights out and all of a sudden stopped making love to me. Whenever our kids ask him for something, he’ll frankly tell them to go to their mum. “After all, she’s the breadwinner of the family.” My husband would say.
Now, I feel very uncomfortable in the house. I even tried to ask him where I have gone wrong but, he doesn’t even pay attention to me anymore. I feel terrible right now and I don’t know what to do.
Dear Iyanda readers, please help me out. Should I quit my job or just maintain it and watch my marriage cramp?