Mr John is a business man who runs a joint business with his wife, they have 2 children. a boy and girl. they operate a bar where the wife sells catfish and pepper-soup, so they always sit down to share the profit and loss. The husband and wife plays the popular game of chance, “baba-ijebu” while their male child is a customer at the Sport betting arena “Bet Naija”, the girl sells cigarettes and punch by the side so if you cant buy a bottle of beer you can afford “skuchies”.
I was at their bar one day chilling with my friends when we heard an outburst. Mrs John was raking heavily on her husband, calling him all sorts of “soft insults” with the husband mumbling under his breath and every now and then, he looks up to say, ‘I go give you your moni, e don do’, with a face showing guilt.
Being close to the family, I stood up to go pacify them before she makes a scene because customers were around, that was when she faced me to tell me the whole episode. Mr John has gambled away all their money ‘Dis yeye man don trowey my moni oo, i give am game make he play for me, he no play am, na the one wey dey him mind he play, imagine ooo, i tell am say make he play single 5 come pam am, make he come play 06 4 and 6 com put 200 naira on top am. but the yeye man no play am oo, that one even small, na on top the one wey he go play he go put all my market moni he wey im thief from my hand, kasala don burst now, ijebu com play the game wey I tell am make e play, as i hear the result I come dey run come house make i come tell am the good news oo say we don hammer, make we go sharpally go collect our moni. me wey don dey suffer since, I no know if na dis man dem send to me sef make e dey do me (voice had turned to half-wailing amidst the talk).
As I dey com house, I just dey run, waka, run waka, for say I fit fly I for fly oo based on my happiness. Na im I reach house com see say he nor happy, I ask am say wetin happen, he nor talk, he jus dey point finger to where I dey keep moni. I no first understand. Na then my son com talk say him papa don spoil him game, I dey look am. I com see say that one sef dey cry na im I ask am wetin happen. My son say him papa tell am make he change him prediction for bet naija and the game wey him papa say make he change come be the one wey spoil him ticket. My son say him predict 2-0 for the chelsea match in favour of chelsea, na him him papa tell am say shey he no kow say chelsea no fit this season, say dem go lose oo. He say him papa talk am with confidence like say he dey follow them train. na so my boy kuku change am com go play the game. result don comot and chelsea com win 2-0. all the other prediction wey my son do chop ooo, na only d chlsea match spoil the ticket. And my son for chop N700,000! wey go change our life oooo. hmm.(she paused for breath intake).
All this while, Mr John didnt say anything, I could tell he was puffed-up and flushed. Mrs John continued:
‘E never finish oo broda, I com go check wia my husband dey point oo, I com see say all my moni for the place don vamoose! na im i ask who thief my moni, he com dey tell me say he no thief am, he go refund am. Say he use am play baba ijebu, say he go gime back, for my mind, I quickly calculate say since he don use all my moni play baba ijebu, and the game wey i give am to play for me chop (since that’s the reason she came running home in the first place), dat mean say we don get plenti moni be dat oo. I come tell am say make we go collect our moni for ijebu hand oo, na im my son start to dey laugh me say him papa don spoil that one sef. i no understand, i come dey look like mumu.
If no be God I for get heart attack today, na den I kno say na dis man dey do me oooo.One Naira nor remain for dia, he wipe everytin comot (she made a hand gesture like she was cleaning her mouth after eating). D most painful tin broda be say na im own number he go play for there, com still put all my moni on top am. ( She was already deeply crying now). I put my arms around her to comfort her.
‘haaa’, ‘eeyaah’, ‘haahan’, ‘oloshi’, ‘weere’, ‘alakoba’, all these were coming from the already gathered jury Mrs John was narrating to and this infuriated Mr John.
He just stood up and said, ‘You don finish? how much be d moni sef? I say I go give you back, you just dey shout dey shout, as you don report me to all dis people now nko? ooya naa, go collect ya moni from dem naa. No come meet me again oo’, then he made to leave.
Mrs John threw herself at him and locked his shirt, ‘Ehn!! Wetin! i go collect my moni from you oo, shey I send you message? wich kain talk be dat?. ‘Leave my shirt oo, I dey warn you oo’, replied Mr John, who was already getting worked up.
Seeing the situation, I knew it would get out of hand, so i made to go separate them. ‘Gbosa!’, the slap pierced through the night, Mrs John was on her back flat, screaming but still holding on to his shirt which has torn due to her fall.
‘if you nor leave my shirt i go beat you ooo’, bellowed Mr John who was now bent over his wife due to his shirt that has been pulled down and torn, hands apart like someone ready to daze use both the left and right hand to panel beat her face ‘Beat me naa, you don kuku thief my money, kuku kill me oo! where I wan start naa?’, she said while trying to dodge her head between her hands but still not letting go.
‘Iya solo, leave him shirt o’, came calls from the jury, ‘baba solo abeg e don do o’, came another voice from the crowd. Mrs John gripped tighter on his trousers and left the torn shirt. She was determined to even strip him naked! I was surprised! Some people held Mr John’s hands from striking her again.
We eventually separated them. ‘Oloshi, Oloriburuku, useless man, you will see what i will do for you!’, said Mrs John. Mr john just looked at her, and went inside. After little grumbling woman talk, Mrs John piped down, everyone went back to their drinks, but she didn’t stop telling every customer that came that night.Just don’t ask her ‘HOW MARKET?’.
I just shook my head and wondered how many other homes will have this kind of experience.
