Dear readers, I think I now understand what people mean when they say a man is the breadwinner of the family. A man’s inability to provide for his household could damage his ego and badly make him lose his commanding role as the husband of the house.
My husband was involved in an accident that was not supposed to cause him any significant or permanent damage; but no one knows what went wrong along the line; he has lost his ability to walk. He is no longer able to walk without a wheelchair. He was subsequently paid off by the company he was working for at that time. That is just a summary of what happened in the past.
It is now six years since David lost his legs as well as his job; leaving me with the task of fending for the family. David and I were both working at the time, which really helped us to do a lot of things we wanted to do with money. Since we pulled resources together, we never really had issues with money; but things have changed. The little business we invested the money he got from his company as pay off didn’t actually turned out the way we wanted; so it was a waste of time and money.
Long story short, I started dancing to the tune of my boss in the office, and eventually started warming his bed just to meet my financial needs at home. I get it that nothing in this world can ever justify my decision, but I just couldn’t stand the constant harassment from our landlord and other creditors.
Things changed for the better at home, but my conscience was taking a big hit. Besides sleeping with my boss for money, I also needed someone to fill the void left by my husband in terms of sex. Not that my husband and I didn’t try to make love together; the truth is that it never worked.
I got home from work one evening after also meeting with my boss at our usual spot—and met my husband in a very sober mood. That actually wasn’t the first time he was in such a mood; but something within me told me something else was eating him up. My guess turned out right as my husband confronted me that night after meal.
David asked me to look him in the face and deny if I have not been sleeping around. Initially I denied his allegations and was about whipping up sentiments when he went as far as mentioning the name of the hotel my boss and I usually meet. He said he had known this all the while, but choose not to say a word about it because his condition. He confessed that someone has been giving him the information, and even showed me a picture of my boss and me alighting from his car one of those evenings after work, and another picture showing my boss and me walking into the hotel.
While showing me those pictures and revealing some of the things he knew about my infidelity, tears were dropping down his eyes. I knelt and begged him for his forgiveness, while trying to sue for his understanding. He kept quiet for a very long time, but when he opened his mouth to speak; what he said sent cold shivers down my spine.
David asked me to continue with my infidelity as long as I don’t do it where people who know me can find out. He said his dignity as a man was lost the day he lost his ability to walk; and that he wasn’t going to blame me for my actions. He said he knew all the while that the foods I have been giving him came out of the money I raise from committing extra marital affairs; but a starving man has no basis to question certain things.
Emotionally I am a wreck at the moment because I feel like I have betrayed a man who truly loves me. He made it quite clear that he has forgiven me, but the guilt in me cannot easily be washed by his mere words.
Dear readers, please pray that God should forgive me all I have done to my husband. Please remember my husband in prayers so that he can get back to his feet again.
