Those Who says 20 children can’t play together for twenty years didn’t lie at all. Sometimes I wonder who comes up with that proverb because everything about It is true. Africans are truly wise and witty when it comes to words. Growing up, I always ask myself what if the proverb is not true, what if they are just play- on words just for us not to have high expectations from people when it comes to friendship and peering. My name is Ivie Ajanaku. I am a product of inter-tribal marriage. People like me are called half-caste of Nigeria. Don’t laugh Please I like giving myself hope. Today Nigeria, tomorrow New York. If you know my plans eh! I am just planning to travel outlook for one better Oyinbo guy to marry. If I don’t travel out, I look for them here in Nigeria. I do not want to deprive my children of what my parents deprived me of. Maybe by now, I would have to be in Mauritius sipping my 5th bottle of soda. Who doesn’t love a good life? My brothers and sisters God no go shame us most times I wonder why we lose friends along with the different phase of life. My mum use to tell me I shouldn’t expect a lot from friends or else I will be disappointed. As I move in life, I will lose friends and make new ones. it’s just life. Look at me today, friends I made in primary school I can’t even remember their faces. My secondary school friends own is worse I can remember their name but nowhere to be found. Life is easy now, unlike our parents’ days, when there wasn’t any social media but ours is very easy with the advancement of technology but I still can’t reach them. For a person like me, that their parents move all over Nigeria because of work, I lose friends a lot. I Can’t even count how many states have moved to in the last 20years of my life. Osun to Benin, then Warri, Asaba, Kaduna then finally Ibadan. My family can be termed as ‘Ajala travel over the world like’ what the popular Yoruba people call it. So I meet new faces every day and I lose friends all the time. When I gained admission to the university, I didn’t expect less until I met Chisom and Olamide.
I use to be a very shy girl right from secondary school. Don’t like to be noticed, always reserve and minding my business, sometimes, my mum does feel that I have an inferiority complex and she is always yelling at me to come out of my shell. The problem is I feel no one likes me and I don’t want to be used as a clown for people entertainment. I made a resolution that when I get to university, I will come out of my shell and I tired working toward it. Feeling nothing can stop me. On my 100 level days, I met Chisom and Olamide. Chisom is a thorough breed Igbo girl who has so much confidence in herself. She is the Ada of the house and I guess her opinion matters in her household but she has this misconception that she can use it on everyone. and all situations outside her house while Olamide, on the other hand, is a very young girl who got admitted in the university at an early age, sometimes I do feel that is one of the reasons she is too touchy and very sensitive to things. I on the other hand was a quiet shy and timid person. I became friends with Chisom on my first day at school when I was looking for the dormitory I was posted to .she helped me with my things and directions and we later discover we are going share space together. My 100 level days with Chisomwas amazing. Though we have our differences. I noticed she likes controlling me and my movement, for a nice and quiet person that I am, I just let her have her way. But it got to a particular time I couldn’t take it anymore. Sometimes we fight and argue over small things and it got to me. instead of exchanging words I just keep malice and talk when I was ready to talk to her. To make things easy for me, I always go to a friend’s place just to cool off. And it was like that until Olamide moved in.
Olamide was this small bookish girl that everyone seems to be fond of, the fact the gained admission to the university at the age of 15 really surprise every one .she is always serious and friendly from afar, less dramatic. I always notice her in my department but never had a proper conversation with her. Always very serious and with books all the time. In fact, she was so serious that she was nominated the hoc for our level. One day, she approached me that she has an issue with distance from school to where she stays, unlike most students that stay around school she comes from home. As a cool-headed person that I was, I agreed she can stay for the exams period. When I got home, I told Chisom about it and we both agreed just for the exams period and we saw it as an avenue to learn some academic stuff for her. She can help us with reading since we are not as bright as her.we were all cool till throughout the exams period. Though Olamide has some obvious fault, I just kept my cool with a reminder that it was just for the space of exams. After the exams, she left and we were all cool again. At the end of the semester, my CGPA was 3.5 which was fair for a 100 level student.
The new semester was very tense for me, I tried my best to keep up with lectures and mix my studies with parties. Yes, I wasn’t a new kid anymore and I was ready to mingle. Mixing school with clubs and parties was really though on my side. but I still knew the major reason my parent sent me to school. Olamide pleaded with Chisom and I if she can move in with us, still with the excuse of distance . after much thinking, we agreed for her to move in on the basis she was going to paying rents too.she agreed then bought her things. Two weeks later, we saw a new Olamide that we couldn’t even recognize, very touchy, wants her space if you even try to use her things, it’s a problem. Every week was one new drama to another. I was still quiet about it and try so much to avoid her path but Chisom couldn’t. They had a big fight and I was the one settling the whole thing. Sometimes, I support Chiosom, sometimes I take Olamide side. If I don’t want trouble I am the neutral person. Some times, I leave them to their fate and they should do anything they like. If I can’t take it, I leave the house to sleep at a friend’s place. It’s not that Olamide doesn’t annoy me, but I am slow to anger when she says something I don’t like, I warn her about it and watch. Most times,I just look at her because I know she is going through a lot at her young age. Olamide is a product of a broken home, so she feels most people don’t like her since her father abandoned them, she can leave anyone. I wasn’t surprised when i overheard her talking to her family members any how.. Picks fight with everyone and take things very seriously. She doesn’t even know when you playing and serous. She is who I called a very rigid person. We were like this till we got to 400l there was nothing we could do because she was a full tenant like us if it was Before we would have chased her out of the house so we were stuck till our final year days.
Chisom on the other hand, had a new boyfriend and was never at home or even attend lectures. It was getting tiring like I was the only sane person in the house, Olamide was on her own and I was in my own world. We don’t talk and we don’t cross each other part.I just move from school to work. Some days Chisom is at home, I tried talking to her about abandoning her things for a boy. She just termed it that I was a jealous person and because I can’t keep a good relationship that is why am jealous. I was perplexed, so I decided to mind my own business. My last days in school, it was just me and my project. No time for friends. My last fight with Olamide was when she called me and my family dumb. I beat the hell out of her and I was justified by my conscience and colleagues. Since then I just keep my cool. After school, Chisom and I keep in touch from a distance. She is in Abuja and Am in Lagos, all hustling for a better life as spinsters. Some times, we call to check up on each other, but it ends there. Lamide and I on the other hand heavens know where she is. though I do see her random chats on my department groups I have never called or chatted to say hi talkless of sending a birthday message from an anonymous person. and it’s cool like that. I have peace.
My mum was right, you make friends in different phase in life. I went for NYSC, met new and awesome friends that can do anything for me or keep me. Now working, I made new friends in the office too. I do think I was the one that has issues before. But the reverse is the case. I still look forward to making awesome friends and I aren’t scared of losing anyone. Guess its part of growing up. Looking back at the proverb it’s true. It has shapen me to prepare for the worst that is yet to happen.