Married in trial
My wife is a very stubborn woman, She is very rude and arrogant, when we first met, I knew her as thoroughbred Lagosian who isn’t scared of anyone and always do things her own way without caring about what other people feel or think. Growing up, this was one attribute I always look out for in every lady I meet. Yes! I love stubborn women. I do get easily cheated so I believe I need someone that can watch my back and boost my ego also. My secondary school days were the worst of my life. People’s attitude toward me really bring to light my inferiority complex and crushed my many egos. I always brag to myself that in a matter of time I will marry a woman that will defend me and make me respectable among my peers, Taking back to my disrespectful neighbors that have no regard for my personality, supporting me in the family meetings.This was one of the reasons I married Chioma. Chioma and I met after my Nysc days first encounter, Damn! She was a fire like real pepper fire! I was like I must make this fine woman my wife. This is how Chioma and I came to be a marriage of 5 years with no child and always fire. I thought it was all drama I wanted but growing up and seeing life made me realize that I just want peace and quiet. A home that I can come back to rest without anyone nagging at me, where I can come to rest after a long tiring day and insult from Lagos drivers and boss palava but my wife does make it hard for me. Nagging all the time, always picking issues from any slight situation. Sometimes I just get tired of the argument and just accept anything she says. If I can’t cope, go for hangouts with my friends, come back very late when she is asleep. Sometimes I don’t even ask for dinner anyway, she doesn’t even care about that.
When I first met Chioma, she was everything I wanted in a woman. Strong, independent, and very Confident but Two years of Bliss I got tired of the drama, nagging, fighting. We have been trying to for a child for a while now but no result at all. My Family advise me to get another wife but I was not ready to do so, even her mom suggested I.V.F but Chioma and I Turned deft ear to it. I always remind family members that we made a covenant before God to be together in all aspects and to content each other until death do us apart. Can’t lie to you, staying with Chioma is death itself, one little gesture form me upsets her, as if this wasn’t the same lady I married before. The house I thought I would have peace was no peace at all. I thought God wasn’t ready to give us babies until I found birth control pills in my wife’s closet tried asking her she said she isn’t ready for a baby now and her work gives her time to nurse a baby and she can’t deal with nannies now. I was perplexed about how can a woman do so much wrong and she is justifying it to my face I couldn’t deal at the reason why and how she will make a big decision like this without telling me. My ego was crushed. I used the little niceness I have in me to ask her a question.
Why would you make such a big decision without my consent?
I didn’t sign up or this.
Chioma replied with a shocking statement
It is my body! I can make any decision I want with.
I was so angry and perplexed on the kind of nerves this woman have to be confident so much to tell me rubbish to my face. I just couldn’t deal with her right now and I have no time to fight or confront anyone so I left her to her problem. I really need to cool off. Throughout that day, I was lost in thought and trying to remember where I did a mistake, or was there something I was getting wrong. I couldn’t pinpoint one thing. I was so angry. I need to be around people to ease all my tension.so I called my friend dele so we can hang out for the evening. I can’t go back to the house in my state or else I will kill someone’s daughter.
My Friends are the real example of Lagos Sugar Daddies. From Lavish parties to all-expense-paid Trip to classy hangout for different ladies .most times, I always question their act but I later I gave up asking them same question all the time. They always have one reason or the other to justify themselves. Dele, was a big one among them we grew up together but right from our youth, Dele’s love for women is my major issue with him. I always thought that when he gets married, he will change but it’s still the same old story. His wife always calls me to complain about his act and I promise to talk to him. Apart from his love for women, Dele is a very dependable friend. He does help me in my heights and low and this was my low I was looking forward to him helping me.I explain my predicament to my friend my wife’s behavior and how it is really affecting me. To crown it all, she is using her contraceptive to prevent herself from having my baby. He just laughed at me,
My friend, women don’t worth all these stress, enjoy life, and worry less.
He called a lady and instructed her to take care of me as he said. I couldn’t say no, I just I was just staring and thinking of one thousand and one way to hurt Chioma for hurting me.So I gave in and I let the lady to lead me away. This is how I met Bola.
Bola and I dated for six months, I try to add to hide it from my wife. There was a lot of sneaking, silent phone calls, and fake meetings excuses. Chioma didn’t notice, she doesn’t care anyway. I was thinking about keeping Bola and I relationship a secret, then she dropped a boom shell on me that she is pregnant. I was overwhelmed and scared at the same time. It was something I wanted but how do I tell my wife without finding out at first. After long thinking, I decided I will divorce my wife and take bola in. Having a woman that loves you and expecting a baby at the same time is a double-tapped blessing.
When I got home that night, my wife was extremely nice. She prepared my favorite meal and waited to serve me dinner. At first, I thought she was pretending or she knows am having a secret affair. After she served dinner, I held her hand and said
I have something to tell you.
She sat down and was quite. Suddenly, I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I Have to tell her what is in my mind. Want her to know what I was thinking.
I want a divorce
I told her calmly, at first she was perplexed but later she asked why? I avoided her eyes and question this made her really angry. She shouted at me
“Bobby you are not a man. I have always known I married a Coward.so what is your excuse this time? You want to marry another person? Am I not good enough for you?
She was weeping and pulling my clothes. I could see the pain in her eyes and I had this little pity and guilt inside me but I wasn’t ready to bulge for all her drama. She doesn’t deserve me anyway. So what is the use? That night we didn’t talk to each other .she was weeping and I did her the honor of sleeping in the guest room that night. I couldn’t face her talk less of answering all her questions .she had lost my heart to Bola.I don’t love her anymore .but I just pitied her with a deep sense of guilt.
The next day I called my lawyer, I drafted a divorce agreement that was beneficial to her keeping the house and having 40% of my company. To me, that was a very fair deal that anyone will jump on but to my surprise, she tore the documents after it was issued to her saying over her dead body she would leave what she labored for another woman to come and take where she didn’t sow.
I felt sorry for her wasted time and resources but I love Bola dearly and she is carrying my baby and the idea of divorce which has obsessed me became firmer and I wanted it at all cost. I was thinking of a big and fulfil life with Bola.No drama just peace of mind. To make the divorce easy, I decided to leave the house for her. I spend most nights at Bola side by the way. Bola is already pushing for me to come to see her people before the pregnancy becomes known to people around but I was adamant wanted to finish settling the divorce case with a stubborn wife. The court issued three consecutive letters to here but she never agreed to any. I was so frustrated that I had to fix a meeting to see her and iron the issue out amicably and each party wouldn’t lose at both ends.
When I got home, Chioma did already packed her things and was waiting for me. Her new attitude towards divorce was really shocking to me. She gave me the signed papers and also another document .my joy knew no bounds knowing I was getting free by this woman and going into a life of peace and happiness. She waves at me and left. From all the anxiety, I didn’t notice the second document until she left. Finally, I sat down to read it.
Thanks for being the most lovely and respectful companion any woman will ever wish for. Thanks for deal with all my troubles and loving me the way I am. I know I was overbearing at some time thanks for hanging on. I don’t want any of your property it’s yours but you can keep it for our unborn child when he/she is born. You know where to find me.
Your love Chioma.
I couldn’t believe my eyes, your unborn child which unborn child. She doesn’t know that Bola is pregnant for me. So which child. For like one hour, I tried adding one and two’s together to see if it’s possible for her to be pregnant for me .yes it was accurate! What have I done, how do I look at Bola and tell her this? I summon up the courage to call Chioma the witch was so calm, guess she planned it all along. She was like she isn’t fighting anything till the child is born if I had doubts we can run a DNA test.Was thinking of how to relate the news to Bola but I was blank. Imagining her facial expressions and disappointments how will she cope? Maybe I shouldn’t tell. Maybe I should. Finally, I felt the best thing is to tell her. The earlier the better for both of us.
At Bola’s place, I told her that Chioma signed the divorce documents she was happy with. then I told her calmly,
I have other news for you. Trying to avoid her eyes. Chioma is pregnant carrying my child.
At first, Bola thought I was joking but later she saw the seriousness on my face she let out a shout
How could you even try this? So you don’t even love me as you said.so what about me and our baby? The marriage? I can’t marry someone that has a child with another woman. How am I sure you won’t go back to your wife.
All these questions, come rushing at me. Had no answer to at all.
I just dashed out of the house to clear my head. Till date there isn’t any solution to my predicament Here is what I say, am a proud father to two lovely children from two baby mamas. One from my divorce wife, one from an ex-lover. I never had the opportunity to get married
. Now that am in my late forties, maybe there is still hope for love for me or am not destined to have one.