Could He Have Forgiven Me Just Like That–Please Help


Dear Iyanda, I am so ashamed to say this, but how else can I get advice from your readers if I don’t come out and explain the exact thing I did wrong.

My name is Titi (not real name), and I regret to say that I have been cheating on my husband for a few years until he caught me red handed the other day. Our marriage is blessed with three children, but I doubt if Wole (not real name) is not going to ask for DNA tests for all three kids despite saying he has forgiven me.

Busayo and I were dating each other before he ditched me and got married to another woman. I felt deeply hurt and thought it was all over as far as finding another man who could love me the same way he did.

I thought recovery was impossible until Wole came into my life. He convinced me on the need to move on with the rest of my life. After few months of wooing me, I finally said yes and we got married thereafter. I started a new chapter, though thoughts of Busayo still crossed my mind. The problem with we ladies is that we never let go of our first love.

Years after settling down into marriage with my husband, and having given birth to three lovely kids, I came across Busayo. Foolishly I allowed myself to be convinced to forgive him; and rather than move on with our lives, we both started seeing each other secretly.

Busayo and I started meeting at secret places until we started having sex with each other. What started as a mistake became a usual and permanent thing. We met virtually every other day, and became so fond of each other. This took its toll on my marriage as my husband started complaining of my cold attitude towards him and the children.

My luck ran out when Wole trailed me down to the hotel where Busayo and I were having a short time one evening. With the help of a bosom friend of his, they forced the door open and there we were lying on the bed half naked. I could see sorrow and pain in his eyes as he struggled to put together a few words. Wole and his friend stared straight at us as we scrambled to put on our clothes. His friend wanted to snap our pictures, but Wole stopped him and asked him not to do that for the sake of the children. Wole left almost immediately without saying anything audible.

He sent me a text on his way home and asked me to pretend as if nothing ever happened for the sake of the kids. He encouraged me to come back home, saying that he has forgiven me. Is it possible for a man to forgive his wife of adultery even when the woman has not even asked him to?

It’s been close to three weeks since Wole caught me with Busayo in that hotel room, and I am yet to return home. My husband has sent me so many text messages asking me to come back home that he has forgiven me. How do I know if he has truly forgiven me? Guilt is eating me up right now, which makes it even more difficult to go back home. I am a very jealous woman who will hardly forgive unfaithfulness in marriage, maybe that is why I don’t want to go home too because I find difficult to believe that he has forgiven me.

I have not seen my kids for three weeks now, and they have been pleading with me to return home. I am so ashamed of myself, especially as my husband and I hold key positions in the church.

Please what should I do? Has my husband truly forgiven me?


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