Every man and woman you see today was once a child – we are all products of some parent or home.
– The angry and bitter wife beater…
– The uncouth and wasteful wife…
– The insensitive and unreasonable mother…
– The uncaring and unthoughtful father…
– The hardened and heartless criminal…
– The corrupt and senseless politician…
– The unruly and impatient nurse…
– The selfish and self-conceited leader…
– The unthankful neighbour…
– The annoying landlord…
– The uncivil civil servant… etc.
All are products of some parent or home.
Have you found yourself having to bewail the evil perpetuated by any of the above categories?
I bet you, parents in their generation also lamented the societal decadence in their time.
Yet, they also produced the same.
At least, what we see around is evidence of that.
*****If we don’t do something intentionally and do it with a sense of urgency, the cycle will continue…****
Are you too busy commenting on these ills and their perpetuators that you watch history repeat itself through your children, also?
What is the guarantee that your own will grow up one day and not go the way of any of the above?
What are you consciously doing to see that yours do not join these statistics?
“You don’t need to do anything to be a failure. But to be a success requires work.” –
“If you think it takes luck to be successful at anything, ask the failure why he is not lucky.” –
“Anything worth its while takes intentionality and deliberateness.” –
Many of us were fortunate to have parents who took parenting serious and did it purposefully – they molded us well from the beginning and we only had to do little as we grew.
Hence, we were helped to have an headstart in life.
That’s why we still have great and amazing people around today despite the bad eggs…
Some of us were not that fortunate.
Our turning out well in life was because we had to fight through our teeth and follow the adage that says, “After a child has been birthed, the onus lies on him to rebirth himself.”
And we add to the category of the amazing and phenomenal people.
Yet, there are those of us who never recover from the negative effects of the kind of parenting we were given.
We seem condemned to our fate.
How are you, as a parent, consciously raising your girls to become women who would be proud of themselves because they bring so much value to their world; to God’s Kingdom; to their sphere of influence; and whom the society and God would be proud of when they grow?
How are you consciously forging your sons to become men who would be secure in their own skin, doing what they are called to do, and being great assets to their world, to people in their circle.
What are you doing daily to raise women whose husbands would be super proud of them, and feel so blessed that they would constantly send prayers to you and feel indebted to you for making marriage restful for them?
What about men whose wives would be massively excited to be associated with because of all the sweetness they bring into their union, and who would forever feel grateful for how you raised them?
How are you “forging” the “arrows” in your hands appropriately, deliberately, and consciously aiming them exactly in the direction they should go, such that they don’t depart from it when the grow?
How do you even identify the way they should go, or should you simply do a guess work and decide to push them in the way you deem or think fit for them?
How’re you being intentional about giving your children a head-start in life such that they don’t have to go through unnecessary long processes and grooping in the dark before they get things right, aside sending them to school and providing their basic needs?
No parent deliberately leads their children in a wrong path ….or in a way they should not go.
But not deliberately leading them on the right path ….or in the way they should go, is the undoing of many.
If training up was by default or automatic, everyone should be doing it… and our society should reflect it in greater measures.
The kind of training that is effective and would have lasting effect is the one you do.
Our elder son was just three years old when I went to his school one day and met all his classmates outside the class.
I was looking for him amongst them when one of them saw me and ran to me to tell me he was inside the classroom.
I peeped in through the window and saw the cleaner sweeping while my boy was helping her stash the chairs to ease her work.
I stood there watching without a word.
I watched silently as he arranged the chairs back while the cleaner swept.
When the cleaner noticed my presence, she stopped her work and walked towards me.
After exchanging pleasantries, she smiled and said to me,
“I told him to join his classmates outside but he would not agree. He insisted on helping me.”
I smiled back knowingly and waited for him to get done.
He was just three years old.
How do you build a sense of responsibility in your children?
Our younger son would not watch a drop of water fall to the ground without running to pick the mop and wipe it dry.
Many times, when he sees me use the knife, he would say to me,
“Mummy, be careful; don’t wound yourself.”
Courtesy and thoughtfulness should become ingrained in children as early as possible… or they grow up to become hardhearted and uncaring.
I don’t need to wait for the boys to get married before I know their wives would not have problems with,
“You don’t say ‘I love you’ to me except when you need something.”
“You don’t hug me often enough”
“You don’t help around the house”
“You are not caring” etc.
As young as they both still are, they know they are going into marriage to make life easier and more beautiful for another and not to be a headache.
When you ask them why they want to marry, they will tell you, “To love and care for my wife.”
All these were built into them with intentionality, and with conscious and identifiable efforts.