My stepfather rapes me.
It happened two or three times a month for at least two years.
“I was molested fairly often between the ages of 9-13~ by my stepfather. Basically my mother would take my brother to church to drop him off and he was an altar boy. My stepfather would go into my room and anally rape me. It happened 2-3 times a month for at least 2 years. I figured it happened at least 50 times. I knew it was going to happen and would dread it and no way to get away with it. He’d give me a few bucks afterwards so I just wanted it to get over it and go buy a Gatorade and candy with the money.
Basically my ass was always sore and super dry. He’d only use spit as lube and I used to wet toilet paper during the week and stick it next to my asshole to keep it moist. It led to me gaining a lot of weight since food became my outlet and it got to the point where I was going to kill myself at age 14. I ended up telling my dad about it and he called the police. My mother called me up the next day and told me I ruined her life, but she had no idea it was happening and I know she was going through a lot having it happen under her watch. She has since apologized but it stung deep to her, too.
He ended up getting six years in jail from it and then his nephew came forward sometime since I did and he got additional jail time. Therapy never really helped me but I never did to get fucked up or anything afterwards. People kept telling me I looked guilty of something so I let my goofy loud side take over and that took a long time not to be that person. It’s been 14 years since then and I am doing much better. I still think about it a few times a week and have nightmares every few months but fuck it, it’s in the past. I am still a virgin at 28, I really lost self-confidence from it but I am gaining it back. Basically every year life gets better and better.
My biggest fear has always been I would do the same thing to someone since statistically I am more likely to do it. I have no sexual desire at all for children and never have and actually had a thing for older women. Just that one statistic always scares me but i know it won’t be me.”