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I am In Love With Her, But Find Myself Competing With The Dead

2 Mins read

I am In Love With Her, But Find Myself Competing With The Dead

I am not sure there is anyone out there who has the power to choose who he or she falls in love with; and I mean true love and not infatuation. We don’t choose to fall in love, it just happens, and we always feel helpless about it.

I don’t want to say I wished I didn’t fall in love with Rita because I am having a hell of a time in this relationship right now. I am battling hard to win a place in that heart of hers that has been locked away since the death of her husband.

Rita lost her husband three years ago, and is yet to recover from that loss. It is not every day you find someone you love, and that is why Rita is refusing to let go her past. I feel for her, but she is also making me suffer a lot. She is putting me under serious pressure, and finds it very difficult to be myself. She is already boring me with stories of how her late husband did this, did that, and what not.

I have not been able to get anything right since we started dating, and we have been lovers for about fourteen months now. I don’t know what to do to make her see me as a different person because that is precisely what I want. I don’t want to replace her late husband, I just want to be me, but it is such a difficult task.

Rita likes me no doubt, but she is not finding it easy to put the death of her husband behind her. Sometimes she comes to me to apologize and ask for my understanding; but her inconsistencies are getting me mad. I am losing it, and though, I have no plans to abandon the relationship halfway, the fact that she sometimes treats me shabbily makes me sick.

Now I know what it means to compete with the dead. Even though I never wanted to be like her late husband, I sometimes find myself trying to do things like him just to please her. I have also tried on several occasions to ask her to see a counselor, but she won’t have any of that as she believes things will evolve naturally between the two of us.

I know there are lots of people out there who have been through and are still going through similar problems, and that is why I am sharing this pain on this blog. I want tips and advice on how to deal with the situation because I love Rita so much and I don’t want to lose her for anything in the world. She is my jewel, and losing her means a future without someone capable of making my dreams come true. How do I get her to go for counseling? How do I get her to put the past behind her and move ahead with the rest of her life without sounding like I don’t care?

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