Well, one thing with this attention issue is, it depends on quite a lot of things and one can not be entirely blamed sometimes for not giving it.
Being in a relationship has taught me a bit about this and it can not be over emphasised if you ask me.
Now, attention goes a long way. It is very essential in a relationship, as a matter of fact, it’s one of the most important factors of love.
If you love someone, one thing you can not pretend not to give is attention, it comes with love. Love contains a lot of other stuff including attention.
Being in a relationship where you vie for attention is a lot of emotional stress. So, not getting attention is a love issue — that means there’s not enough of love, or there’s none, or the enthusiasm in the relationship is dying.
This is not a message for the one who’s suffering from not getting attention. This is for you who has refused to give attention to whom it is due.
Let me tell you something, attention covers a lot of stuff, it’s also the nutrient with which some things rejuvenate or come alive.
Your attention can bring out the creativity in someone, honestly. Your attention can spark happy moods that leaves your spouse optimistic through out the day. Your attention can rejuvenate confidence in your spouse. So as not giving attention send negative signals in them.
You’re a busy person and you can’t give that attention all the time, if you do, how would you cope with work and other stuff? You possibly can not sit all day listening to her/him while there’s a lot of works to be done, that won’t take you guys anywhere.
And I can tell you, I understand. There are quite too many hassles to give a f*ck about. And quite often, there’s nothing you can do about these times that you cannot give your attention.
Alright, I want to help you point out moments that deserve to be sacrificed for. You may find the situation difficult, but these are moments which tell that you truly love and care for someone. You don’t have to be there 24/7 before one can tell how caring you really want to be, but on these special days I’m going point out in a bit, you should know you don’t have a choice but to forsake all other stuff.
I want us to look at Big Days. At every point in one’s life, there are days which are most special to your spouse. It could be a competition, it could be their birthdays, it could be a day they’d want to launch a product at their office, it could be a day they are setting up a business or their first time at something.
You being there is equal to the hundreds or thousands of others. You’re a crowd on your own. Your presence will do a lot good to the event. And if you are never there, they won’t forget it for the rest of their lives. Every other person can miss the day, and they might never notice, but when it’s you, it’s like a whole crowd did not come.
We’re also going to look at A Breakdown. When your spouse or lover experiencing a breakdown, maybe they got fired from their job, or their friends died or a project they’ve been working on proved to be a waste, it could be they just can’t sleep or do anything else because of work at the office and it’s making them feel very uncomfortable; your attention will subdue half of the pressure of things.
At these times, they need you, and if you show up, it’s better than anything else. If you forsake your side of encumbrance and selflessly give them what they want and deserve, things will turn out good for them even if slightly.
Let’s also look at when their health is the case. If your spouse is sick or having a health defect, I don’t know what you would be doing that would take your attention, because it’s a life and death issue no matter how mild it may seem, just be there, be their strength, be a sudden nurse, be over caring if you have to be. There are a lot of people who still find “I am busy excuse”, excuse me? What if it was you who’s bedridden?
Think about that.
There are several other days you should sacrifice for your spouse or lover. There quite a lot of other days that may not have same importance as these mentioned days, but your ability to show up may make that day the best.
There are times that are justifiable if you don’t show up. But if risking those days your lover won’t take too much from you, show up. It strengthens the relationship.