Ashewo no be work oo!

Hmm..she said she doesn’t want to work oooo!!.. Its too much stress for her. She prefers getting money from people, she says that she has no responsibility that is overbearing. As long as her phone is good and has internet connection and her daily bread is constant. ‘I’m not a materialistic chic’.

This is a true story of a girl I once dated. She falls into the categories of my “Smallies”. You know naa, the ones that “epp” with the cleansing during emergencies..With the contract clearly signed ( me, I cant come and shout oo!!!). She is a pretty slender chic from the eastern state brought to Lagos when she was 19, with only basic education and a slim chance to further her studies. She was staying with her struggling sister.

I got close to her when I sensed she was having it rough but didn’t want to disclose to people. She appreciated my gesture and we became close but one thing I noticed was that anytime she goes out, she returns with a bag and a smile on her face with a grin showing that she cant wait to share gist about her ‘waka’. Kate’s sister wasn’t working also, she lost her job some months they moved into Lagos. I immediately knew their deal, they were “PAROLE GIRLS” but I was still kind and generous to them.

One thing led to the other then Kate and I started having a romantic affair where I provide her with gifts and money in exchange for a crazy fun time..like really, really freaky time (after enough intoxication, play play dey sweeti oo). Then along the line, I was able to help facilitate Kate’s sister to get job that got her busy and reduced her WAKA p . 2 years passed and Kate was still jobless, her sister complained of her nonchalance to jobs. I spoke with her, she just dismissed me with ‘work no dey, wich kain work i wan even do now, me wey no get certificate? Abeeegi!’

I left that area 2 years ago, but Kate still found a way into my new life and it became a stuck process because I still gave her cash in return for her company. From all indications, she was still doing her “P’s” and waas egtting by, because she started looking glamorous – with no work done oo, a lavish lifestyle even her sister got jealous of. But still, Kate wasn’t working.

Lately, I have been having talks about work with her which always seems to end in a gridlock so I have learnt to allow peace tried to make her see reasons why she shouldn’t depend on MEN All she said was, ‘If we hustle with our legs, na work. If we hustle with our hands, na still work. If we hustle with our brain, na work ooo and if we hustle with our assets, all na work. So, I have chosen her path oo, if I don’t want to give her cash, there’s no biggie to it, she has enough strings to cover the bills. I was dumbfounded. Nonetheless, I stopped giving her cash, but that didn’t keep her away o..she even came more often with bags of goodies when coming to my place. As I am writing this, She has assisted me with emergency cash a lot of times which has really helped me stay aloof.

Then, I found a vacancy which is very flexible with a cool pay. I made all the necessary arrangements and locked the job down only for me to call Kate to attend the interview, which she promised to go. Only for my inside source telling me that they haven’t seen my candidate, AFTER A 4 DAYS of holding it down for me, my source couldn’t hold it anymore, so the job had to go out.

I called Kate, trying to be calm. But she was even more calm than I was. After asking her politely why she didn’t show up at the interview she was expected, she replied ‘I don’t want to work for someone, right now since all my needs are still basic, I can take care of myself. I have rich daddies who give me monthly salaries so that takes care of me. Don]t bother yourself about me, I am fine.

Na my workshop I dey use chop’.I went maaaaaaad pon the phone and blasted her, ‘do you think ashewo na work ni? jumping from 1 guy to another will just lead yo straight to an early grave’. Then she replied ‘At least, I wont be going to the grave alone and broke, you and a lot of men will be with me and besides who told you I am doing ashewo. I hang out with friends of benefits who reward me for my company’, she said that with a cynic note and a long hiss that sent chills through me.

The next day, my mind was disturbed. What did she mean by ‘you and a lot of men will be with me’. That was creepy and got my attention. Then I went to see my doctor who after some tests told me I was infected with staphylococcus, but the mild one. It was then I knew Kate’s plan. She is a born destructive device ready to blow any one who comes in her way.

In the evening, I went over to her house wearing an angry face and I warned her sternly to never step foot in my house again, or else I would call the police , she just looked at me from head to toe and said ‘ fine! It was good doing business with you!’ and she left. Just like that. with no remorse.