Did I ever tell you that I was once a medical student? Well, now you know. I told you, you have to stay glued to this site to know more about Iyanda
Well I specialized in an entirely different field known as ……….LWKM! Stay tuned and you will find out more about my humble self soon.
It was during a ward round back in my days as an aspiring doctor, we were in the teaching hospital where we tagged along with our consultants. The consultants train us in assessing the patients and show us the clinically ways, cases, signs and symptoms of the patients. Most times we have to do a small presentation about what kind of disease the patient has. Followed by series of questions from the consultant I really loved it and looked forward to the ward rounds back then. Yeah right.
During ward rounds, you could be called upon to either answer questions or perform some examinations on the patient. Honestly speaking, I did try my best most times but I was never asked the right questions. Better put I was never asked the questions I had answers too.
This day stands out clearly in my memory. I remember it so well because I was the center of attention. I was asked to mention 6 symptoms associated with a disease but mid way through I lost the use of my tongue and when that happens you get told off by the consultant.
Wowsers I was descended upon like a ton of bricks by this particular consultant. He called out my name ‘ADISA, in a slow deliberate manner which just spelt all kinda of trouble. “Adisa” he said again “It’s either you have no brains or you left yours at home” Gosh I almost passed out, with a mixture of total ineptitude and shame I hoped for the floor to open up and consume me. Which was too much to ask for as it happened so I turned red instead.
I begged God for a miracle to happen and it eventually did but I never expected such a big one. I noticed a colleague of mine while I was been questioned by the consultant. He was the one who laughed the most while I was being humiliated. Can you imagine what happened next a ‘doctor to be’ the student suddenly dropped to the floor like a pack of cards, we all moved back to give the consultant room to examine this new patient -our classmate- but the consultant bent down and removed the guy’s tie, he had fainted. When he recovered some few minutes later, he was disoriented.
He was helped to a sitting position and was immediately turned into the patient by the consultant. The consultant asked us what the problem was with our new patient. Listing a litany of possible symptoms my colleagues and I just couldn’t find the right one. The consultant looked at him and asked him a simple question ‘have you eaten today? and he replied ‘No Sir’ he retorted in a very soft inaudible voice. It was more of a shock to discover that he had not eaten anything but what amazed us was the way he drank the bottle of coke, that was bought for him .Even the consultant couldn’t help laughing.
I busted out laughing out so hard, see this silly guy that made so much fun of me, now has became the topic of the day. What a mad world we live in. You won’t believe what happened to him the following day, the real patients refused to let my colleague examine them because their weren’t sure he wasn’t going to pass out again.