Dear readers of iyandasdiary,
My name is Olufunmilola, and I feel like this is the best place and time to open up on the pains Ladi has left in my heart. Is it impossible to prove that you love a man without allowing him go in between your legs? How can a man say he loves you, and wants you to be his wife; but is not ready to wait until you are both married before eating the forbidden fruit?
I met Ladi at Bunmi’s 22nd birthday party held at a club in the heart of Victoria Island. Bunmi and I grew up together in the same neighbourhood, and it would shock you to know that we were the only two amongst out friends yet to be deflowered by any man; at least until the last Valentine’s Day when I foolishly lost mine.
Ladi had been on my neck about this virginity thing since the first few weeks we started going out. He tried all the tricks in the book to convince me, to make me see reasons to lose my virginity to him. He complained, and even went as far as blackmailing me into believing that the only way I could prove my love to him was to let him sleep with me. All his plans and blackmails didn’t work because I wasn’t going to lose my virginity to a man who had started showing signs of desperation.
Each time he sent my friends to me, I only laughed because my mind was made up. I was resolute, there was no way I was going to let him have his way; he either waits till we were married or he leaves my life through the exit door.
As regards my virginity, it still baffles me how I was able to keep it that long considering how many night outs and parties I attended on campus. Of course, there were nearly situations that brought shivers down my spine; but I still didn’t lose it.
I was determined to keep it because all the tales of pains suffered by my friends when they lost theirs scared me to death. I couldn’t stand the sight of bleeding, and worse of all imagining a man make mockery of me after they have ‘caught’ their fun.
I have had relationships with a lot of guys in the past just before I met Ladi; and none of those guys was able to make me open my legs. I knew my relationship with Ladi won’t last the distance because of his desperation; but I didn’t know it was going to end with me becoming a victim.
Ladi drugged me, ripped apart my hymen, and deflowered me on the very day I thought was dedicated to people who understood what love was all about.
It happened that we went to my favourite restaurant on the Island where we spent the last Valentine’s Day. Well it was my favourite restaurant until the 14th of February, 2013 when Ladi turned it to a place I never want to be at anymore.
The only thing I remembered after I got home was that we went to buy some takeaways, and how we went to Ladi’s family house. I knew I had lost my virginity because the pain was much between my legs. I knew something had happened to me because Ladi was acting strange as he took me home in his car that evening.
I went straight to the bathroom after taking off my dress. I spent close to one hour or even more in the bathroom, sobbing quietly. When I got back to my room, I discovered that the beast (Ladi) had already called me several times. He even sent me a text message; and guess what the content of the sms was: “you are a virgin? oh I will have you for keeps!” Of course, he offered an apology for what he did; but nothing matters to me anymore.
He wants me for keeps; what if I wasn’t a virgin before he met me? Though, he wants to marry me; but I say to hell with him!
How can I trust a man who actually drugged and raped me?Even If I want to report him.Who would believe my boyfriend truly raped me.Really confused at this stage.