Why Marriage Is Not For Me?

If you are a Nigerian lady who has crossed the 25 year age mark, you will probably be facing some pressures that have to do with getting married. I am 37, and you can imagine what pressure I have been through up till this time. I don’t know what else I have to tell people that I am not cut of the marriage thing.

I can’t be enslaved by some male chauvinist who believe or think he can use and control me. Please don’t condemn me because I am not looking for some advice from you, but doing this to send strong warning to all men out there. Most of my married friends have lost it few years after they went into slavery (marriage). There is a particular friend of mine who is now a shadow of herself, and is about ten years older than her real age because marriage has never been kind to her. Is marriage ever kind to women?

The only picture in my head is one where my dad battered and subjected my mum to hatred, humiliation, and insults; so what is the big deal about marriage?

I can’t place a date or time on how and what made me resolve not to get married, but I know it dates back to my days in the secondary school. The relationship that exists between my dad and my mum was like that of a cat and mouse. My dad treated my mum the way King Pharaoh treated the Children of Israel during their 430 years sojourn in Egypt. It was horrible, and my mum had to abandon her marriage when she almost lost her life. While leaving the house, she took away with her two of her kids including me.

Life without dad was not hell because hell was living under the same roof with a man like him. I didn’t miss him one bit, but it wasn’t the same with mum because she was always making moves to reconcile with him. I wonder what kind of commitment a woman who had to take care of her kids all alone would have towards a man who turned her into a punching bag. Mum was too gentle to a fault, and it almost killed her.

You don’t treat a woman like my mum the way my dad treated her. My mum (RIP) was not only well-mannered, but was the most beautiful woman who lived. How she came to meet someone like dad remains a mystery to me because it was like putting a ribbon around the neck of a swine. Dad is still alive today, but mum the gentle and loving person is gone to be with the Lord. The scar of those years lingers in my heart, and there is no way I am going to fall into similar trap mum fell into. No man is going to tie me down no matter how attractive or convincing he is.

I turned 37 few days ago, and I am still looking as cute as I was 17 years ago, at least that I know. I am free from marital worries, and no one is breathing down my neck and monitoring my activities.