My White Woman Only Wants A Child Not Marriage

I have been to the United States and back a couple of times in the past nine years, but nothing compares to being in love with someone who knows and understands your tradition and way of thinking; really nothing compares to marrying a brown coffee no cream no sugar.

How I managed to fall for a trap set by Martinez still beats me hollow, but I suppose we get to learn our lessons the hard way. Forget about all these tales of Nigerians being the ‘baddest’ people on earth, we are miles ahead of some white folks in terms of feelings.

I met Martinez while I was studying in the University, and we hit it off right away. We talked a lot about Nigeria and though, it took a lot of convincing to make her believe I was for real; she didn’t hold back as soon as she fell in ‘love’ with me. One thing led to another and she got pregnant and I was surprised when she said she wanted to keep the pregnancy and have the baby. We made plans and I never thought anything was amiss until the baby arrived and she didn’t even ask for my consent before naming the child.

This may sound strange to most Nigerians, but the baby is not even answering my name nor that of my father. A lot of Nigerian guys in the States have babies they can’t even claim anymore as I have come to discover. Martinez won’t even consider settling down with me as she only wants the baby and no husband. Now I know why most Nigerian men always want to return home to settle down. Though, she doesn’t deny me the opportunity to see my child, the way she watches my movement each time I am around the boy is highly embarrassing to say the least.

I have since been in and out of the US a couple of times since then, but it just makes me wonder why some oyinbos live their lives like that at times.

Some have blamed this on Nigerians, but those reasons don’t seat at home with me. If a white woman feels she doesn’t trust me enough to marry her, there is nothing I can do about it. Besides, I feel cheated and used by a woman.

I don’t have the faintest idea of how to get my child back, it seems like a tall dream that may never become a reality. Don’t get me all wrong because it is not in all cases that these things happen. There are some Nigerians that are happily married to some white folks abroad, and they are not deprived the rights to be with their kids. Though, mine is not a peculiar case, it still beats my imagination.

I am a bit powerless on this, and won’t mind some piece of advice from you all on how to go about it or what to do anymore about this issue.