I never believed it when people say all sorts of things about mother-in-laws and their daughter-in-laws; at least not until I got married to my husband.
Don’t get me wrong because I am a very accommodating person, and one who will never judge anyone based on what other people tell me. I love to experience things myself before judging people; but now I know better.
Henry and I have been married for two years now, and things were going smoothly for the two of us before his mother moved in with us. This happened after I put to birth towards the end of 2015. As the custom demands, my mum was supposed to come and stay with me for at least three months, but death robbed me of that joy. So the onus was on my husband’s mum to come and stay with us and help me through the period.
Her coming was a blessing at first; but things started changing three weeks after she moved in. I stand to be corrected, but I believe a woman has the right to rest and spend some time recuperating after putting to birth. Well, that was where the problem started because my mother-in-law didn’t think so and wanted me to start going to the market, doing the dishes (despite the fact that we have a housemaid), washing clothes, and sort of doing even those physically tasking domestic chores.
I felt this wasn’t right, and so I took the matter to Henry who was livid and had to confront his mum to find out why she was pressuring me to start engaging myself in those types of jobs. Maybe that was my mistake, but I wasn’t going to have any of that since I went through cesarean section to give birth to my child. Her argument was that I needed those domestic chores to keep fit.
Anyway, she wasn’t comfortable with my decision to report her to his son, and that was how a battle line was drawn. She has now turned into a perfectionist who is hardly pleased with anything I do. She picks holes in virtually everything I do and complain to my husband about my attitude, which she says is rude. She accuses me of lacking in proper home training—claiming that my mum did not train me properly.
It’s been one complaint after the other since I reported her to my husband, and Henry is sort of fed up with the whole thing. In order not to be seen as being biased, Henry has started coming home late at night. He now drinks and keeps to himself and rarely talks to anybody at home. In other words, he has been forced to look for peace and happiness elsewhere.
Things are different from the way they were in the past, and Henry no longer talks and plays with me in the bedroom like he used to. To cap it up, my mother-in-law has stopped eating at home and now deliberately sends the housemaid to buy her food even when her son is around.
Things are now getting out of hand, and I don’t even know what to do. Please is there anyone out there who has been through similar or almost similar experience and wants to offer me tips on how to get myself out of this situation?
Please offer me mature and sincere suggestions…