I never believed it when people say men will always be men until I married my husband. Larry is a torn on my neck—and despite the fact that I knew he was like this before we got married, I never thought he would go this far.

During our courtship days, my husband used to monitor my movements. He would sometimes turn up unexpected at my school and claimed he only wanted to give me a surprise. Sometimes he would walk me home and at other times he would stay all through with me when hanging out with my friends. I thought this was love, though some of my friends disagreed and felt he was suffering from insecurity.

Anyway we got married and things never changed—and as a matter of fact he would come all the way from Ikeja to the Island sometimes to pick me up at work. He did this at least twice in a week or whenever I told him I was going to a friend’s place after close of work. I did complain of this attitude and kicked against constant monitoring of my activities; but he would wave it aside and question my faithfulness. He would saw: “why are you bothered about my following around if you don’t have any hidden agenda?” This would anger me and we would quarrel over it for days before members of his family or close friends would settle—and as usual, they would either blame me or blame him.

Now we have three kids, and he still monitors me and follows me to certain occasions even without telling me. Sometimes my friends would tell me they saw my husband around some of the locations or nearby some of the areas I have visited recently.

Frustration              

Only last month, I got tired of the whole thing since I am now the laughing stock of my friends and colleagues back in the office and decided to take the fight to my husband. I told him to get off my case and let me be. If he didn’t trust me in the first place, why did he marry me? I asked him to stop embarrassing me by constantly stalking me. He of course, reacted angrily and has been calling me a cheat since then. The truth is I don’t care what he calls me as long as he stops stalking me and stop calling my mobile number every hour to find out my movement. How can a manager in a reputable private firm be so free that he has enough time to be stalking his wife or calling his wife or even asking someone to monitor his wife’s movement?

I like to stress that my husband has never caught me cheating on him before and I don’t intend to do that any time in my marriage. It is so irritating to find your man searching through your handbag and running through your chats and text messages because he wants to know your every move. It is already driving me crazy and I intend to see a psychologist because I can’t take it anymore.

Honest and mature advice needed as soon as possible please.