May My Daughters Never Marry A Man Like Their Father

My friends always ask me why I always pray that my daughters should not marry a man like their father. There are parents who want their children to be just like them, but not when a man like Jimi is the father. When you are married to a man who comes home drunk every other day and spends better part of his evening in casinos, then you will understand my frustration.

Jimi was a lady’s man during his bachelor days, and I remember vividly how we used to have little arguments over some of his girlfriends. He was a gentleman then, and rarely does he pick a fight with anyone. In fact one of the qualities that endeared me to him was the way he treats and respects women. Jimi swept me off my feet with the way he treated and respected me during courtship.

However, things started changing when he lost his job some years back. Though, he has since started working, and earning fine, the fact that the onus of taking care of the family fell on me for two years while he was searching for a job affected him a lot. Jimi became a beast of a man when he was jobless. He became hostile towards the kids, and rarely shared his feelings and thoughts with his family. He even accused us of being the bane of his problem, and fell short of blaming his little daughters for his problems.

Soon as he got his last job, he became a different person. Rumours of gambling and infidelity became a part of his life, and he started spending less time at home and more time with his friends. He would head up to the club after work, and come home smelling of alcohol. My husband never smoked before he lost his job, but he now goes about with packs of cigarettes in his pocket.

Jimi now keeps a retinue of lovers, and says it to my face that the biggest mistake of his life was marrying me. That came as a rude shock because this was a man who spent almost a year trying to woo me. It took me three years to finally agree to marry him despite his looks and nice behavior. For two years I was practically feeding the entire family including his aged mother when Jimi had no job. I was going to work, buying foodstuffs, paying the bills, satisfying his sexual ego; and all I get for supporting my husband is insult.

As I write this, Jimi is expecting a child from another woman, and he practically spends more days sleeping somewhere else than with his family. He is gradually moving his things out of the house, and rarely comes home to see or visit us. We are no longer on talking terms, but it doesn’t bother me personally. Nevertheless, I am worried about my daughters because of the way they are being treated. They do not deserve the kind of pains they are going through.

Whenever I go on my knees in prayers, I always ask that they never come across a man like their father when it’s time to get married. I also pray for Jimi, I pray for God’s touch.