Marriage shouldn’t be the end of any promising career—it should rather be the beginning of greater things. Most women today abandon their promising career simply because their husbands say so. Lawyers and accountants among most African women throw away their wigs and pens to become full time housewives. The truth about marriage is that it doesn’t stop you from combining domestic and career activities together.
Abandoning your career because you want to become a full time housewife is like saying or admitting that you regret every minute spent while in the university. It is a lack of vote of confidence on those who have invested in your education. Perhaps, fighting your man in order to make him see reason why you should maintain your career status is not the best way; consider other convincing reasons too.
The truth is, not all women can be held responsible for dumping their careers for marriage; some African men don’t like it when their wives work. Some men feel insulted when their wives continue to work. They feel it is an indictment on their ability to provide for their wives and family—but this is totally wrong.
While the African tradition does not give much priority to the right of the woman to insist she wants to work as a married person—it does encourage couples to support each other. Here are some reasons why you shouldn’t abandon your career because of marriage:
- It will diminish your self-worth—Abandoning your career because you are married may diminish your self-worth and cause you to lose some deserved respect. History has shown that a lot of Nigerian women who chose to become full time housewives to the detriment of their careers have regrets taken such decisions. Men have more respect for women who consider their career as well as their marriage top priority.
- It makes you look like a dormant partner: Marriage is all about joining hands together to build a solid and happy home. When you abandon your career to become a full time housewife, it limits your ability to get involved in major decisions in the home. It could give the man the impression that you are a dormant partner in the marriage.
- You lose the respect of your colleagues/friends: Friends and colleagues who regarded you as someone with a promising career may start viewing you with disdain.
- It may lead to regrets in the future: A time may come in your life when you will be filled with regrets for some of the bad decisions you took. Imagine watching a classmate in the university on the television whose career has developed; the truth is that lost time cannot be regained.
Here are some tips on how to talk your man into supporting your career even as a married woman with kids:
- Start early—Don’t wait until you are married before laying your cards on the table. Open up on your career goals and plans, and make him see reason why he needs to support you.
- Be matured in your approach to issues—Some women love to flare up when certain issues are being discussed; this is absolutely unacceptable to a lot of men. Learn to approach every issue with a matured mind.
- Don’t give up too easily—If you are so convinced about what you can make out of your career in the future, then work towards it even in the face of persecution and negative comments from your husband.
- Perfect timing—Develop the habit of chatting with your husband ONLY when the atmosphere is right.
- Avoid confrontation—Confronting your man on some technical issues won’t help your course.
- Pray about it—Most African women are very religious; take time to pray about your career, and ask for divine help to help soften the mind of your man.
Hope the aforementioned work for you…