Our love life didn’t change from what it was before marriage because nothing changed for me. Nonetheless, Belema and I made love without inhibition as there was no fear of getting pregnant which was something the two of us wanted before marriage. Which means sex in marriage came with much liberty and without any holding back since there was nothing to be afraid of as legally married couples. Naturally she took in and those normal changes you would expect from a woman started taking effect. She started experiencing those hormonal changes and started reacting the same way pregnant women would; but just that this time around she took hers to the extreme.

Belema started doing those things that really would get the most loving and most patient husband irritated and frustrated. She would throw up on the floor and leave it until I get back from wherever I went to sometimes. Really she took it to a different level because there was a particular case when my friend and I came in one Sunday evening and my wife had already messed up the entire living room. Though, she had cleaned a bit part of it, it was obvious that the whole place was deliberately left for someone else to come and clean up. I was livid as soon as my friend left, and this led to exchange of bitter words between the two of us.

Medically I knew that women in her condition are always on the edge, but there should be a limit. There is no need to turn the home upside down because you are pregnant; at least you are not the first to conceive. She is just about 12 weeks pregnant and she no longer cooks in the house (won’t even eat those foods of hers anymore). She won’t even let me help her prescribe certain drugs to help her improve her HCG (as if much can be done about her hormone anyway); just didn’t like the way she was throwing up saliva everywhere in the house.

Despite not being in talking terms for a while, my wife has never reported the issue at home to anyone. This has been our policy since we started dating each other and even as married couple. We have always kept things intact; but it seems we are now getting to that point where we can’t handle things on our own anymore.

Perhaps, divorce is not really on my mind, but I am just like a man who wants to have a break and I don’t know if that is possible in marriage. Her pregnancy is not making it any easy for me to make a decision on what to do.

More frustration…

Just last week, a colleague of mine told me that Belema asked her about the best hospital where she could get quality attention medically in terms of antenatal care and all the rest. Soso was surprised that my wife could come to her instead of asking me. I told her I was shocked too, but asked her to go ahead and recommend one to her since Belema trusted and liked her. It means I have lost the trust of Belema and things are getting out of shape really fast.

We don’t eat together anymore (she doesn’t cook and I don’t cook either), we don’t sleep in the same room anymore, and we don’t even say hello to each other anymore…

I do feel for her sometimes when she is going through these hormonal changes, but I really don’t know if what I feel for her is still love or pity. She doesn’t even want me to help her because she won’t even talk to me. All through nine years that we dated, things never got to this stage, and it is so annoying.