One clear autumn morning a single mother of two, peers out the window of her bedroom admiring the clear day and watching as the wind blows through the tree in her yard.
The woman named Felicia sits wondering what purpose in life has God in store for her. She realizes is she thirty years old and a single mother of two. Any other day she would not feel the pressures of life except for this day is the day before an operation that will forever change her. She wonders how people will see her and react to her once the operation is complete. More importantly she begins to worry about how she will see herself.
Felicia was suddenly startled by both of her children rushing into her bedroom with smiles upon their innocent faces wanting what they expect every morning, a hug and kiss from their Mom.
She is distracted long enough to give her children the hugs and kisses they so very much desire. A few moments are spent making small talk and casual play until the children run off to fix themselves some cereal. As she hears her children laughing and occasionally arguing, her mind begins to wonder into her past.
Starting with her childhood, she recalls growing up in a family she can’t help but love today, but questions her love and understanding while growing up in her family.
Her father; being a hard man whom stubbornly held to his convictions in life without hesitation. Her mother, a teacher of the word of God always ensured they knew the Gospel. Her four bothers and sisters wrapped up in their own world and not understanding her. All of this was racing through Felicia’s mind.
Her attention was again diverted when she heard the dreaded words from her son, “UH OH.” Felicia went into the kitchen where she found that her son had an accident with the milk as he was pouring it into the cereal bowls. She patiently wipes up the milk and fixes their cereal before she retreats back to her room to take her shower.
Sitting on the end of her bed wondering what she will wear today, she again begins to think of the experiences in her life. She recalls a traumatic event whereupon she was attacked as a child. She vividly recalls the events of that day and begins to weep. She recalls how she refused to tell anyone, for fear of upsetting her family.
Her mind then drifted to how her now divorced husband helped her through this terrible time, when it was triggered later in her life. She pauses for a few moments and recalls how her relationship with God became so much more fulfilling during this time in her life.
All of a sudden Felicia is overcome with laughter as she sees her daughter standing before her wearing her clothes backward in an attempt to dress herself for the day. As Felicia helps her daughter get dressed she wonders if she is doing the best she can in raising her children.
As she finishes helping her daughter the phone rings. It’s Chris, a new found friend she met only a few months ago. They say hello’s and talk about the coming day and each other’s plans. A few minutes later she gangs up the phone and steps into the shower.
While in the shower, she again thinks of how she’ll be after the operation. She thinks to herself that she’s not getting any younger, and if she’ll be appealing enough for any man to ever wants her again. She abruptly puts the thought out of her head and begins to think of her friends. She can’t help but think at first if they will treat her any differently than they do now, especially her boyfriend, William.
As she gets out of the shower and feeling somewhat refreshed, she realizes how fortunate she really is to have the types of friends she has. She tells herself that she has always tried to be there when they needed her and how good she felt when they called upon her in times of need. Samantha gets dressed and begins to face another day, putting the previous thoughts out of her head for now.
The day goes by uneventful, as any other Saturday would. She enjoyed her times with friends and her children throughout the day. Now the day is over and the children are asleep for the night. Unfortunately, Samantha can’t seem to get to sleep.
While lying in her bed she drifts back to what she was thinking about earlier in the day, still having the nagging feeling of wondering what her purpose in life is. Chris pops into her head and she begins to think of him and what kind of troubles he’s going through in his life right now and how she’s tried to help him through them by helping him trust in God.
She also recalls how he has offered his shoulder to cry on and a compassionate ear whenever she has needed one. Her other friend, David, comes to mind. She again thinks of how he’s troubled in life and how she has tried to pull him through his times of need, and then William, and Vicky. She starts to realize that she has been there for all of them. She wonders if this is it, “is this why I’m here?”
Felicia gets out of bed and gets on her knees and begins to pray. She prays for those in her life: first her children, then William, Chris, David and Vicky. She then prays for herself. “Dear Lord, help me understand the things that have happened to me and show me my purpose in life.”
She remained on her knees for a few minutes, completely silent, hoping for something, anything. Then she heard it, the most calming and compassionate voice she had ever heard. The voice filled her soul with warmth and peace as she heard it proclaim:
” Felicia, your hurt and sorrow is not punishment, but a precious gift. I have provided you with the experiences in life to give you the knowledge and wisdom to help others. You have fulfilled and will continue to fulfill what I have in store for you. For what you seek, you have become. A healer of souls and a guide to my door step for those who have strayed or forsaken me. You cannot begin to replenish or heal lost souls without feeling their past experiences. You question that which is your purpose. You will understand that which is your body is only but a shell and what is inside you will shine brighter than the stars themselves, and you will be better prepared for your task at hand. You will be rewarded in your mortal life and in your everlasting life. Keep your faith and trust in me, for my hand is always upon you. Rise up and accept my gift and continue to help those in need.”
Felicia wept for a period of time and realized again, how fulfilled she was to know the Lord. From this day forward she will continue to go to the aid of those in need and trust in the Lord.
Felicia then went into her children’s rooms and hugged and kissed each of them again for the night. Felicia finally went to sleep with anticipation of a new day dawning tomorrow.
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