Dear Iyanda,

It is not everyday one gets to find an angel-like lady; right? Well, finder’s keeper so I thought when I met Njideka a couple of years ago when I travelled to the east to spend the Christmas. I finally thought I had come across a woman sent by God to wipe away my tears. I have not been able to get over the shock of the death of my mum who died of cancer a year before that time. So, Njideka was a God-sent as far as I was concerned the first time I met her. On the recommendation of my cousins, I started a relationship with Njideka, and things moved like jets speed between the two of us.

The speed by which things progressed was so swift that we started making plans to settle down 8 months after we met in the village. Finally, the date for our traditional marriage was fixed by both families, and I thought things were going to be fine at last after the death of my mum through cancer. Everyone was looking forward to it, and I never for once thought it was not going to be until I got this shocking news that Njideka has cancer!

The news hit my like a bullet, and I really don’t know what next to do considering the fact that my mum also died of the same disease. I mean how life could treat me so cruelly just over a year after I lost my mother beats my imagination. I haven’t even been able to set my eyes on Njideka since she broke the news to me the other night. She has virtually withdrawn herself from public view; and this worries me a lot.

I have not even broken the news to my dad and siblings because I don’t even know how they would take it. The trauma and emotional stress the death of my mum caused the family are all still very fresh on our minds; so how could I possibly tell them that the woman I am about to get married to a couple of weeks from then has the same disease that took our beloved mother away.

My dad is a bit suspicious because he has not been able to set his eyes on Njideka for a couple of days now; and it bothers him a lot. He is not alone because even my younger ones now have feelings that something is wrong because I have not been able to hide my worries from them.

Only last week, Njideka’s family summoned me to ask what my next step would be, and to be honest I asked them to give me enough time to talk to my family members. Now time seems to be running out because her uncle keeps calling my number, and I don’t seem to have a ready-made answer for her family. Now I am so confused because I don’t want to abandon someone I claim to love so much just because I discovered she has a terminal disease few weeks to our traditional marriage.

I feel I am being pressured by her family to take a decision within a very short time, and this doesn’t make me comfortable. As for how I feel or what I truly want; the truth of the matter is that I am so confused that I don’t know what I want. Do I still love Njideka? Of course, I do, but the thought of marrying someone who has a terminal disease six weeks to our wedding is a burden too heavy for my fragile heart.

Please I need urgent and sincere advice on what to do!