A couple, whose story is still running on this blog, are already finding things too tough to handle just eight months into their marriage. This is not right; I mean it shows that a lot is wrong with and must be looked into. Marriage, the way God ordained it is designed to make two people happy. If your husband is already complaining or showing early signs of being bored soon after getting married to you, then it is time to get to work and put things right before they get out of hand.
A few years into marriage sees many couples gradually falling away from each other. If you find that your husband has nothing to say to you anymore and would rather spend a free evening at the bar than watching a movie with you at home, it is time to take action. Here are a few things that might help turn things around for the better.
- Do some self-examination: if you found out that your husband has not been showing the same level of interest he used to show when you newly got married; then you are better off doing some introspection before things get out of hand. Ask yourself what has made things go to this stage. Could it be because you have let yourself be overwhelmed by some domestic responsibilities? Could it be your hectic work schedule which does not leave you with enough time to spend with your spouse? Find out if you can set aside some time for your partner on a regular basis.
- Find out something you are mutually interested in: Sometimes ladies can be so engulf with some personal or domestic activities to the detriment of the happiness of their partner; this can keep the man away. She would rather spend her leisure time in unwinding or planning for the next working day. Try to find out about those activities you enjoyed doing together in the past. While it may no longer be possible to go on a picnic date every weekend or cinemas the every other night; going out on a walk and eating out once in a month won’t be a bad idea. Be a little adventurous and creative and you may find your husband enjoying your company while you also enjoy the new activity.
- Improve on your appearance: It is very common for most women to let themselves go after a few years into a marriage. While wives no longer feel the need to look like the Genevieves and the Omotolas of this world all the time, a husband may take his wife’s neglect of her appearance as a sign that she is no longer attracted to him and thus does not feel the need to look good. Schedule a day with your beauty stylist and surprise your man with a dashing new you.
- Improve on your intellectual ability: A man wants a woman with beauty, but adding brains and intellect will also wow him for a long time. Challenge yourself and refuse to be stagnant. Build your intellectual capacity and enlarge your knowledge base. If he is a football fanatic; then get your homework done by researching some of his favourite players, club and managers.
- Find out why he has changed: After trying out some or all of the aforementioned tips and things still don’t change with him; then you have to address him directly. Ask him what has changed in the marriage for him to hold back his affection. If he is forthcoming with his side of the matter, see if you two can change the status-quo and bring back the spark into your relationship; otherwise, turn to a counsellor or turn to God for help.