I Feel Frustrated Because I am In Love With A Man Who Doesn’t Love Me Back
Love is earned and not forced, but I wished things were a bit different with Olumide. I have no idea what I need to do to earn his love or make him fall in love with me; but I will never ask for help from an herbalist or spiritualist.
Why do I have to keep suffering like this? Olumide came to me, I didn’t come to him. He saw me, wooed me, and told me he wanted us to start a relationship together. I didn’t love him at first, but things and times have changed, and I am the one doing all the chasing while in turn he gives his love to another woman. Maybe it was my fault that I didn’t hit it off with him right away, but I never took him for a ride same way he is treating me.
Three years ago when Olumide proposed to me, I asked him to give me time to think about it since marriage is not something you rush into. We agreed to pray about it, and take things slowly, but maybe that was a mistake because he is no longer keen. His reaction towards me when I go to his house these days are no longer what they used to be. I am filled with doubts, and the pointers indicate that marrying him will be hell; but I can’t pull out for reasons unknown to me.
Olumide seems to have this grip over me. He plays with my emotions, screams at me, makes fool of me when he is with his friends, and uses all kinds of despicable words against me. The problem with me is that I can’t say no to him anytime he comes begging and asking for my forgiveness. Each time he comes begging, I run straight into his arms and eventually slip in between his sheets. In feel miserable and weak whenever I am with Olumide, but strong when I am with my friends.
The last time I tried going on a vacation just to be away from him, I found it so difficult to stay the entire period I planned staying because I was missing him. The day I changed my mind and decided to return to Lagos was the day I caught Olumide cheating on me. It was not really the first time, but it was the first time I was catching him with a close friend of mine. Since then, I have lost count how many times I have caught both of them in bed, but how I find the heart to forgive him beats my imagination. I think I am just naïve, but I feel completely hopeless, frustrated, lost, and helpless.
I don’t feel like marrying him anymore, but I feel so powerless that I can’t say it to his face. I need big and serious help from readers. I need only serious and objective tips on how to get myself out of this slavery that I call love.