Dear readers, have you ever been in a situation where your spouse thinks or believes that he or she can always have his or her way? It’s absurd when a man thinks the world revolves around him, and that he can go and return into a woman’s life any time he so pleases.
My name is Agnes, and I am a woman who has suffered so many untold punishments because I married a man who thinks it’s a man’s world. My husband sleeps around and thinks I am just like him. He suspects me even when he knows things should actually have been the other way round.
Kanu asked me for a divorce just one year after we got married at an elaborate church wedding in Enugu. He gave a lot of reasons and excuses for his decision, and felt that our differences were irreconcilable at the time. He wanted a woman who would not only bow and worship him, but also sheepishly do his bidding no matter what. If there was one virtue my parents taught me as a child; then it was how to stand up for what is duly mine when all attempt to make peace seem to have failed.
The day Kanu asked his lawyer to commence divorce procedures with me; I thought it was all a joke because it was a minor argument that led to it. Even his personal attorney was shocked at his sudden decision. Every attempt he made to make us settle things domestically didn’t quite work out at first.
The problem with my husband is that he always feels that he is my benefactor who made it possible for me to be where I am today. No I won’t deny the fact that he was partly responsible for my university education; but that doesn’t give him the right to treat me as a piece of rag whenever he chooses to. I deserve some measure of respect even as his wife; and that is the area we never seem to agree on. My husband always wants to treat me like a maid; and this is unacceptable.
So when he came up with his divorce threat, I was ready for it because there was no child between the two of us at that time. The first thing he did was to ask me to pack my things and leave his house; and of course, I did without hesitation. For six months or thereabout, Kanu and I lived separately.
While we were living separately, Kanu was going about town with other women, and also telling all who cared to listen that he was through with me. He told the entire world how he picked me up from the gutter, and how he was responsible for my education. He called me all kinds of names and that he was through with me. During all these periods, my parents where always going to his house to make peace; but all to no avail as my husband stood his ground.
Even his parents went as far as asking my family to return the bride price they paid before they married me. At this stage, I knew things had gone too far, and there is no way back for the two of us. Paying or returning the bride price was not a problem for my parents; they were actually worried about what people would say. They were worried about their reputation that has been severely damaged by Kanu. They were also worried about my reputation too because Kanu had told everyone that I was unfaithful to our marriage
Then one Sunday morning as I was preparing for church I heard a knock on the door, and lo and behold it was Kanu and one of his uncles. They came to make peace with me, and wanted me to move back into the house. My parents at this stage were livid; and rightly too because of all the insults and embarrassments they have to suffer in the hands of Kanu.
Today Kanu still wants me back and continues to send emissaries to my parents; but to no avail. Personally, I would have loved to forgive him; but my parents would have none of that.
I can’t convince my parents to accept Kanu’s apologies. The situation is beyond me because every member of my family is against our reunion. What should I do? Can I afford to risk the anger of my family because of a marriage that I am not even sure is not going to fail eventually?