While I quite agree that women are no robots and should not be treated as such; I will not fold my hands and watch a group of people dictate how my home should be run. My situation is not beyond redemption, but the way things are going, my wife may leave the house any moment from now because of some anti-African beliefs.
My name is Bala, and I am married to a woman from the southern part of Nigeria. We dated for nine years before we got married. We or I thought we could never run into any major hiccup in marriage because we knew each other like the palm of the hand; but I guess events of the last few months have started proving me wrong.
As practising lawyers, my wife and I believe so much in freedom to express one’s views even in marriage. I gave her all the liberty she deserved as my wife; but I never drew the line from scratch. The problem with Nigerian women is that once you give them a space to operate, they want to control every aspect of your life.
I always knew her as a feminist, and supported her especially when it has to do with fighting a case that involves abuse in marriage or relationship. Things were going fine between us until she joined the women advocate group a few months ago. Now she hardly goes to the kitchen to prepare our meal. As a matter of fact, she argues and tries to talk me into agreeing a rotational principle that will see the two of us share some domestic chores including cooking—haba!
I can’t even argue with my wife again without being called a chauvinist or woman hatter. Things have gone so bad at home now that her group paid me a visit the other day at the chambers to demand that I show some understanding. They said they were shocked that a learned man like me could be treating my wife like a slave. I suppose feminism has now been taken to a new height in Africa, and husbands can no longer argue with their wives again.
So it is now a crime for a husband to demand that his wife perform her primary duties at home? She comes in late in the night, takes her shower, and hardly asks if I have eaten. I can’t even complain about the dishes in the kitchen sink because she would turn it into a fight and query if I married her for the purpose of turning her into a slave.
I know the law, and won’t even raise my hand to hit her; but the question I want to ask is: is feminism satan’s way of destroying marriages?